 |
Me: You're as square as a blanket.
Like Kel;
Frustrating to sleep with,
because you don't fit anywhere!
[Laying in bed with Alex]
Me: There's a bone in my mouth!
Mum: I bet that's the biggest bone you've ever had in your mouth.
Me:...
Mum: What?
Me: Did you really just say that to me!?!?
[Eating at T.G.I Fridays]
Me: Just tell Camie to tell her parents that it's really important for her to go to that concert with you.
Mum: That wouldn't work. Camie's not as big of a freak as Shyloh.
Shyloh:...
Me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
[Sitting in the living room, talking about the Celine Dion concert]
Me: Is Shyloh not having any?
Mum: No, she just wants the sauce.
Me: Sheeesh. She's been craving it... a lot. Shyloh?
Shyloh: What?
Me: Is there something you need to tell us?
Shyloh: Like... what?
Me: You've been craving this sauce a lot.
Shyloh: Oh yah... I'm pregnant!
Mum:...
[Eating spaghetti]
Shyloh: I have a hit list.
Me: Am I on it?
Shyloh: Yes, you're number three.
Me: Mum...
Mum: What?
Me: One of these nights, I'm afraid I'm going to wake up and find Shyloh standing over my bed with a knife.
Mum: Oh, I know how you feel. One of these nights I'm afraid I'm going to end up standing over your brother's bed with a knife.
[Sitting in living room]
Sam: God. I hate him so much.
Me: Who?
Sam: Adam. I just like... want to kick his head off, and watch the poo fly out everywhere.
Me: Poo?
Sam: Yes, poo! His brain is poo!
[Outside smoking]
Alex: Bri, do you believe in reincarnation?
Me: Yes, I do. I believe in another life I could have been a dog.
Alex: Or a boy.
Me: Or a murderer!
Alex: Or a man who beat off every night!
Me: Haha. Yah... I bet Shyloh was Hitler.
[Playing at the park]
Alex: Yah. I have sex with tampons. They make me feel good. No, that's kaka Bri!
Me:...
Alex: I mean Alex.
Me:...
Alex:...
Me: You're so fucking stoned.
[Smoking]
Me: Shyloh!
Shyloh: What?
Me: There's mexican people listening to country music out there!!!
Shyloh:...
Me:...
Shyloh: You had to run to tell me this?
Me: It's the end of the world!
[Sitting outside]
Me: Mum! My vagina turned my iPod off!
Mum:...
Me: No! Come back! Let me tell you what happened!
Mum:...
Me: So, I had it in my lap, I crossed my legs, and it was on my vagina.
Then, my music stopped playing. I looked at it, and it was off! My
vagina turned it off!
Mum: You like to vibrate your phone down there.
Me:...
Mum: Now you like to turn things off down there.
Me:...
Mum: Do we need to have a talk?
[Sitting outside]
1:37 AM
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