Haven't been releasing lately, keeping everything in.

Pushing all thoughts into the deepest corners of this empty pink toy box that I've been applying to much pressure to trying to break through.

What happens tomorrow if it all stops today? What will you do?

Say its all okay.?

Its not, you know. Nothing is, it never has been, and here we are ready.

But I'm not.

There are questions I have, ones I don't know the answer too, that you can't answer for me.

Am I wrong, should I be shunned, ridiculed, punished?

It's too hard to make you happy, but what about me?

When do I get to start living for that person I forgot about?

You still don't know. I have dreams that would give you nightmares.

I want to make the wrong decisions, choose bad friends, and walk down the isle with him.

I want to make me happy, forget what you say, and stand here until the end of days or until they come and get me,  I'll be there till one of the two, I've been so close for so long the fall doesn't look that far anymore.

I'm tired of trying so hard, and being told to try harder, I'm sick of you looking down on me; I'm done making everyone else happy.

What am I doing? And what are you going to do about it?