OBSTACLE PEOPLE and FLAKEY PEOPLE...

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.”
---Oprah Winfrey

As a creative individual, every day each of us has a choice of who we
are going to work with. Are we going to surround ourselves with fellow
creative individuals or are we going to surround ourselves with those
who don't have our best interests at heart.

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OBSTACLE PEOPLE:
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Every day we meet these types. It seems like when we meet obstacle people,
their only goal is to place obstacles in our way to keep us from reaching our
goal. In general, the best way to deal with obstacle people is to AVOID
them. An if you can't "go around" them, then try to find a way to deal with
them and in the future, spot those people who tend to become obstacles to
your career goals and everyday life experiences.

In other words, if you call a help line and the first person who you talk
to is an obstacle person, then politely hang up and call again and see if
can get someone more helpful. It's the same at any store or other situation.
If a person becomes an obstacle, pick someone else.

It's not so simple if that person is a significant other or a family member.
You know what I'm talking about. If it's your significant other, and they
do everything they can to block your creative endeavors, you need to rethink
your relationship and have a "sit down" with them and discuss the relationship
and where it's going. If it's a family member and you rely on them for
familial support, it might be time to try to communicate with them to
get them "on board" and on the same wavelength with your career goals. If
they don't get "on board" then try to at least get them to stop creating
obstacles for you and encourage them to just be a family member and find a
way to teach them to love you in spite of your career choice.

If it's any other friend or acquaintance...eliminate them from your life...
You don't need obstacle people in your life...particularly if you are not
related to them...

See below for comments from others on OBSTACLE PEOPLE.

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RIDDING YOURSELF OF "FLAKES"!
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“You will find men who want to be carried on the shoulders of others, who
think that the world owes them a living. They don't seem to see that we
must all lift together and pull together.”---Henry Ford

We all know who they are, they are the ones that want to distract us from
our goal for some personal purpose of their own. Or they want to come along
for the ride, but they don't want to do the work.

Or they are the complainers who constantly think the world owes them
success, just because they made themselves "available" for it.

Hollywood is FULL of FLAKEY PEOPLE.

You see them in the clubs,thinking they can flirt their way to success.

You see them on the set, thinking they can flirt their way to
success... Or try to "schmooze" their way to success...

You see them at auditions, and they haven't prepared their material.

You see them at Fred Segal or Starbucks, the "hangout" for the flakes...

Plus, the worst of all, they move here from all over the country and
don't have a work ethic to build the foundation of success ---

So they try to use YOU, the hard working, talented, value-added
creative individual who has put in the sweat and  has slaved for success...

They want to piggyback on YOUR success...try to hitchhike on
the gravy train...

If you want to clear your path for the future, then do as I continually
do...get rid of the flakes that want a free ride!!!

You can do it...BE STRONG!!!

All the best,

Jack

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REGARDING OBSTACLE PEOPLE: Some Comments!
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Thanks for this. I found this jewel years ago, but have struggled with the
accusation of hiding, running, not working on relationships - when all I want
is people in my life who support me in my goals the same way I support them.
I'm finding them - in the acting world. In L.A..... It's not all back stabbing and
eye gouging (as the obstacle people would have you believe). There is a great
community of love and support....another jewel I've found! Thanks again... :=)

Caroline

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I'm not friends with negative people anymore, I just cut them off completely - without
any guilt. As a result I've made many more steps towards my goal. As for negative
family, I am kind and curteous to them, I just don't mention acting at all in my
conversations with them.

Beware of pessimists who like to tell you how impossible it is to do something. They call
themselves "realists" - but they are pessimists in denial, people very deep in negativity.
They only see what is negative, they never percieve what is good and what is possible.
When you get that vibe, run the other way!

--Lidz

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They are all in my life.. I chose not to put pearls before swine. I just
heard Terry Cole Whitaker  author
of "What You Think of Me is None of My Business" and "Dare to be Great"
and a coach of many high profile people. she said in public she can't even
have a conversation with her mother because of
differences of opinions (paraphrasing) and I can relate . If anyone doesn't
support me I simiply talk all about "the weather" and I will talk about the
weather as long as I have to that gets me thru knowing that I have a Higher
Source that supports me in every way and is the Source of all my good.

--Victoria Spark
(We at the Actorsite love the late Victoria Spark, who brought the joy of
performing into our lives as she pursued her acting dreams. May she
rest in peace and  as she continues to build her acting career in heaven.)

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Jack -
 
I started living by the policy of eliminating negative and obstacle people almost
a year ago - this included peers, coworkers, even family. I decided that the only
one responsible for my destiny and my success is ME and God.

That simple decision has made more of a difference in my career in less than a year
than all my efforts in the previous 15 years I have been in this industry.

I simply won't allow a negative person in my life, and even more importantly,
inside my inner creative circle - whether I am producing, acting, casting or
managing. Negative people are evident from miles away and you can just feel
the energy when they enter the room.

I have refused to hire people if I have sensed any negativity from
them including negative gossip, comparing themselves to others or even having
low self esteem.

This industry, this world - LIFE is too short to not enjoy and to
take advantage of the gifts that we are presented each day. Being positive and
loving yourself and making the right choices, the positive choices and not dwelling
on setbacks or the past makes it all so much better.

I felt compelled to write  because it is inspiring to know that more people are
focusing on the beauty of the world and the sheer thrill of just being a part of
this wild industry.

We all can make it. It just takes believing in ourselves and treating others
with respect.
 
Best Regards,

Peter D'Alessio