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How To Message Chicks And Actually
Get A Response From Them....
By Miss Meyli
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(If you're going to copy this and post it in your own bulletin and blog, you
better give me some damn credit.)
As many of you may know, I have an away message up on my mailbox which means
your only way of contacting me is by leaving a comment. However, some get through
the cracks (I'm not sure how, exactly).
Of these few that do, I would say only 1 in 100 are a message I actually respond
to. The other 99 usually get the delete button.
So this kid messages me with:
"Hey was up me jst chillin"
And I delete it, naturally.
He proceeds to send me the exact same message pretty much every day, to which
each is met with the delete button in the same rapid manner.
Then last night, (seriously, how is he getting past my filter??) he messages me
with:
"Question y do girls like urself answer messages from me is it cuz im
ugly or wut wut is it tell me so i can knw"
First of all, I think he meant "why DON'T". Secondly, that is a prime
example of an atrocious run-on sentence. Perhaps his . key is broken.
So, I figured. "hey, if he took the time to figure out how to bypass my
filter and wants an honest answer, I'll give it to him".
So to his most recent message, I replied:
"It's because your messages don't consist of anything worthy of a reply.
Perhaps if you took the time to read profiles or put some thought into your
messages instead of sending every hot girl the same generic greeting that you
would have a much higher response rate.
Take care.
~Meyli~"
What I ought to have added was that his messages also portray him as uneducated,
and that he might think about retaking some English classes. Okay, maybe I'm a
little mean.
But the reason I post this all to you as a bulletin is because I feel that over
90% of you are in need of heeding this lesson.
I get the same mundane messages and comments from you guys over, and over, and
over again. And then I get even more poorly written messages from the same
people asking why I never write back.
Perhaps you are genuinely interested in "what is up" with me, or how
my day is going. But you can't honestly expect me to find the time to write
back to all 295,077 of my MySpace friends, can you?
So if you want to actually start receiving responses from your messages, here
are some tips I'd like to offer.
1) Never start the subject of your message with the words "Yo",
"Ay", or "A". A is a frickin' letter. It is not supposed to
substitute for "Hey". Are you that unbelievably lazy that you can't
type out 2 extra letters. II can tell you from my own personal experience that
I don't even read the messages in my inbox if the subject is any of the aforementioned.
2) Do not refer to the person as a "shawty" or any other derogatory
ghetto term.
3) When you have the subject as "Re: RE: Re: RE: ay" in an attempt to
trick the recipient into thinking she may have responded to your stupidity at
one point (probably in a drugged state), it makes you look like a loser. So
much of a loser that this is the only way she may actually read your message.
4) Why don't you take a moment to stick your tongue back into your mouth from
oogling her pictures, and actually read her profile? Chances are, she's more
than just some eye candy (I can't speak for all women), and has much more to
offer than something for you to drool over as you spank the monkey on your
keyboard. If you bring up something that is personal to her, it increases the
chances that your message will be dignified with a response because it shows
her that you aren't just messaging every hot chick with the same obsolete message
you so craftily copied and pasted.
5) Type in proper English. I can't speak for every lady, but there is nothing
more of a turn off than an uneducated person. Sure, there is slang that certainly
can't be avoided. I'll even admit I occasionally use "cuz" in place
of "because" (I've actually battled this for a while because I refuse
to use the word "cause" since it has its own jolly meaning, and I
like to type the way that I speak. and in this case, I use "cuz".
yay). Utilize your shift key. It is there for a reason. NeVeR tYpE LiKe ThIS.
Oh, and if you're typing in all caps, it makes you appear as even more of an
imbecile than the people who can't find the shift key. "This" is not
"dis". Like is not lyk. What is not "wut" or "wat".
"Girl" is not "gurl". And never, never, never substitute
numbers for letters. THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMN TEXT MESSAGE.
6) You're an absolute idiot if you are asking questions which can clearly be
answered if you knew how to read. I get people asking me all the time what my
name is (not so eloquently, if that is even possible). It's in my MySpace name.
You know, the thing at the top of my profile? Or even the thing that's clearly
visible when you're composing a message to me? Oh, and you'd be amazed at the
amount of people who spell my name wrong while they're typing me a message or
comment.
I'm sure there's more of these, but I'm actually going to take a break and
perhaps add to this later. I think this is blog-worthy, so it'll go there too
if you want to leave your thoughts on it.
But now I'll take the time to seriously show you the last 10 messages in my
trash folder.
1) Subject: "Yo"
Message: "Hey wat up sexy"
2) Subject: "hardy"
Message: "U so sexy gurl."
3) Subject: "hey cutie"
Message: "hey sexy mami how u doing? watz ....ur....
name and where u from and watz good with u? "
4) Subject: "hi"
Message: "wow miley u got nice tits"
5) Subject: "."
Message: "wats good"
6) Subject: "HAY!!!!!!"
Message: "NeEd SuM 1 2 pLaY WiT"
7) Subject: "RE RE RE NO SUBJECT"
Message: "GURRL U IS SOOO FIND I CAN EAT U LIKEU IS MINE"
8) Subject: "Re: RE: watz good"
Message: "Wats good mami"
9) Subject: "mj"
Message: "wat yo numba"
10) Subject: "watsup"
Message: "Happy holidays! So let's set something up so I can put my mouth
on those beautiful breasts of yours! And just before you climax ill put my lips
on it to see how it tastes because I can do it right. As you can tell, when it
comes to beautiful girls I don't play around! Just don't fall in love with me
and we'll be fine! "
I'd like to bring some attention to the last message. I am making a point of
blocking each and every one of you assholes that sends me an obscene message.
Whether it's a picture comment or a message, it doesn't matter. There's certainly
a fine line between a perverted sense of humor (which I actually have a fine
appreciation for, believe it or not) and being a loser who has never seen a
vagina in real life and needs to go on MySpace and send me comments like how
you're going to put it in my butt.
There have certainly been some which I've been on the fence about blocking, and
then 112 who are rightfully blocked. If you go on my blocklist, it looks like a
pedophile phonebook. Strangely enough, a lot of the main perpetrators are kids
who are 13 yrs old. Seriously!!!
Okay, I guess that is all the steam I've left to blow off. So there you have
it.....
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XOXOXO
~Meyli~....
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BUY A POSTER!! Haha. =)....
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