This week they told me my mom's body is starting to shut down because of the disease that she has, Parkinson's and Dementia. It doesn't want food anymore.  Both of these illnesses, I didn't know, are prone to shut down the body a little at a time. Even though I see her regularly it just hadn't hit me how much weight she has lost until they pointed it out.  My mom who was such an energetic, vivacious ball of fire, is preparing to leave.  I always thought she was so strong that she would out live even me.  So this is to me an unexpected turn of events.  It is breaking my heart because even though she has been in a nursing home for about 4 years, I could always go and talk to her whether she was awake, or responding or listening or not.  She was there, accessible.  Selfish me to think she would be there all my life. Now here she is slowly starving to death and I wish she wasn't leaving.  "Where are you going ma? Please don't leave me.  I am so alone."  This comes from the little girl in my heart that  has issues with abandonment all her life, we don't know from where.  So I am at present calling all angels to come and help us out here. Help her to leave without pain and suffering, to fly away like a little dandelion in the wind with the least resistance possible. And I am calling all angels to come and help me accept this reality that my Momma won't be anywhere to be found on this planet and that she will be one more angel returning to her source from whence she came because we all know my Momma came from heaven.