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There are many good reasons to vote Republican:

·         I'm voting Republican because I like our tax money flowing out of our communities and into the hands of war profiteers. Who needs roads and schools anyway? – Krikkit

·         I'm voting Republican because Article I is annoying. – MuchMadness

·         I'm voting Republican because I want to see our hard-earned cash invested in corporations that are shipping our jobs overseas. – Vinny

·         I'm voting Republican because I like being in an abusive relationship where my government spies on me, lies to me, and steals my money to gamble on unnecessary wars and to give to its friends to enjoy. – Nyla785

·         I'm voting Republican because, as a Compassionate Conservative, I don't give a damn about you. – VOTER

·         I'm voing Republican because I want to wash the glass ceiling. – OddManOut

·         I'm voting Republican because old people are so full of new ideas. – JoeKerr

·         I'm voting Republican so we can bomb the hell out of the Middle East to make room for a WalMart SuperCenter. – DMW1

·         I'm voting Republican because, as a woman, I do only what I am told to do and never think for myself. – VOTER

·         I'm voting Republican because I think Christianity is a useful tool to get people to believe I have morals and values without ever having to actually have any. – Forsetti

·         I'm voting Republican because Diebold switched my vote. – floydSmoot

·         I'm voting Republican so that your child is left behind. – Scandinavian

·         I'm voting Republican because frightening people is fun. – VOTER

·         I'm voting Republican so Green Day's next CD will be just as good as American Idiot. – DMW1

·         I'm voting Republican because, let's face it, there is no right to privacy. – AmandaRuth

·         I'm voting Republican because I already bought a Flag Pin. – VOTER

·         I'm voting Republican because I want to work the night shift at McDonalds after I retire because I think Social Security should be used to support tax cuts for the rich...excuse me...would you like some fries with your Quarter Pounder, sir? – pbarba1969

·         I'm voting Republican because computers, the internet and learning things is stupid....Who needs to know or learn things....When I can always watch Fox News to learn things and for news ...Vote Republican; knowledge is stupid. - TXOBAMAGIRL73

·         I'm voting Republican because it's what Jesus would have wanted. – chroipahtz

·         I'm voting Republican because bringing the troops home is not too important. – Roxanne2009

·         I'm voting Republican because I think soliciting total strangers in mens rooms is fun and a great way to make new friends... they're going to add that to the Constitution, right? – comacoma

·         I'm voting Republican because that whole "separation of church and state" thing needs to be rethought. – tasukibeth1

·         I'm voting Republican because people working 3 jobs is a great demonstration of the American spirit! – DemMD

·         I'm voting Republican because I've lost my job, my healthcare, my house and my car (which I couldn't afford to drive anyway) so I have nothing else to lose. – Nyk

·         I'm voting Republican because, after all, 70-something is the new 40-something. – TXOBAMAGIRL73

·         I'm voting Republican because high gas prices save wear and tear on my tires. – TheRealMacDaddy

·         I'm voting for Republican I have no feelings and hate people. – DietrichMoody

·         I'm voting Republican because Jesus will return long before we could ever destroy this planet with greenhouse gasses. – DemMD

·         I'm voting Republican because the truth is just so inconvenient. – Rescisco

·         I'm voting Republican because it's comforting to know that an NSA agent might be listening in on my phone conversation. – indieminded

·         I'm voting Republican because...well...frankly...I am a douche bag. – botboy

·         I'm voting Republican because I don't think my tax dollars should be spent on "big" government programs; my tax dollars should be spent in Iraq and on as many wars as possible. – muca30

·         I'm voting Republican because organized workers are sissies. If you want better wages, benefits, or working conditions, move to France. – HeironymousJosch

·         I'm voting Republican because I always did want to live through the 2nd Great Depression. – Livvy

·         I'm voting Republican because I'm still kinda on the fence about starting a pre-emptive war against Iran. – tschlak

·         I am voting Republican because when a hurricane hits my city, I want to rely on personal industry, self discipline, and my swimming skills. – beachchick

·         I'm voting Republican because sometimes I get lonely in airport bathrooms. – FredNietzsche

·         I'm voting Republican because I'm suicidal and it just makes good sense. – Fathoms

·         I'm voting Republican because deep down I hate America. – realistxxx

·         I'm voting Republican because contraception is for sinners. – JadedAggie

·         I'm voting Republican cuz I'm a bad boy and need to be punished for a hundred years. – tellinya

·         I'm voting Republican because the Serge is working. In fact, Serge is doing a great job mowing my lawn and cleaning my pool right now! Way to go Serge! – OddManOut

·         I'm voting Republican because my womb is not my own. I just carry it around, so that the repukes will tell me what to do with it. – Cheryllou

·         I'm voting Republican because thinking for myself is just a total and complete drag. – Kim445588

·         I'm voting Republican because thinking of anybody BUT myself is a total and complete drag! – tschlak

·         I'm voting Republican because I want to be the first kid at school who has a "JOHN MCCAIN'S LEAGUE OF DEMOCRACIES(tm)" hoodie with the cool logo. - tschlak

·         I'm voting Republican because art, language, and music classes are for f@gs and French people. - tasukibeth1

·         I'm voting Republican because fire bad. – bmora

·         I'm voting Republican because Rush told me to. – VOTER

And the best for last...

·         I'm voting Republican because I don't understand satire. – marignymitch

Thank you, Huffington Post!