1. Song that always makes you sad?
Happy Birthday
2. Last thing you bought?
eggs, spinach and other breakfast items. I suppose the next purchase i'll make is a fire extinguisher
3. Last person you argued with?
my wine de-corker....the fucker will never do what I want
4. Do you put Butter before putting the peanut butter on?
is that before you deep fat fry it? ask rosie o'donnell
5. One of your stuffed animals' names as a kid?
I name my cars, not stuffed animals...and if you're wondering...my car's name is Halo
6. Did you ever own at one time a Barenaked Ladies Cd?
no, that name has always kind of bothered me...it makes me think of heterosexual sex. and that's not good for anyone.
7. Favorite day of the week?
any day that i get to sleep in past 3 am...which is technically considered to be weekends and any day that i'm late for work.
8. Favorite Sundae topping?
hot fudge...like the mayor of new orleans, i'm all about chocolate city
9. Did you take Piano lessons?
no, i'm gay but i'm not a bottom
10. Most frequent song played?
ask dick clark...i listen to am
11.T.V. show you secretly enjoy?
that fat southern bitch that comes on the food network at like 12:30 PM...i can't smell the food, i can't taste it, and i don't cook....yet i watch anyway...i don't know if that says more about her or me.
12. Would you rather play basketball or hockey?
an ambulance trip to the er would happen either way...so i guess i'd just flip a coin
13. Date someone older or younger?
i'm an aquarius....the over under on a relationship is like 2 weeks...so i guess i've never had enough time to give this one some thought
14. One place you could travel right now?
Margaritaville
15. Do you use umbrellas?
no...i can no longer steal them out of my parents' trunk
16. Do you know all the words to the Canadian national anthem?
i know a lot of useless information....but this is a little excessive. besides, they should know our national anthem....we allow them to exist.
17. Favorite Cheese?
provolone...i like it because it's the only thing i can think of that is more pale than me
18. The Smiths or the Cure?
i rather keep up with the joneses
19. Do you prefer Blondes or Brunettes?
the curtains never match the carpet....so usually you get a little variety with the same person
20. Best job you ever had?
a blow job
21. Did you go to your high school prom?
no
22. Perfect time to wake up?
10 AM
23. Perfect time to go to bed?
11 PM
24. Do you use your queen right away in chess?
why not? the last thing i need in my life is another queen
25. Ever been in a car accident?
I have been in many rear end collisions, but never in a car
26. Closer to mom or dad...or neither?
88 miles to my mom, 38 miles to my dad
27. What age is this exciting life over for you?
hmmm...usually the good die young....so i'll be around for a while
28. What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager?
the 90s....those animals who lived before me did it largely without air conditioning
29. Favorite shoes you have EVER owned?
i don't allow myself to get attached to shoes or people...
30. Do you have an article of clothing you have had since you were in high school?
my cap and gown....i'm keeping it handy in the event that i need physical proof that i was able complete two years of physical education
31. Were you in track and field?
no, i can only run a long distance if a police dog is chasing me...not that it's ever happened before
32. Were you ever in a school talent show?
no, but i was voted "most talented" in high school...figure that one out
33. Have you ever written in a library book?
never....those stick figures engaged in acts of sodomy were in there when i got it...i swear
34. Allergic to?
physical labor...or any activities that make me slightly uncomfortable
35. Favorite fruit?
Al
36. Have you watched sex and the city?
yes...but i prefer anal sex and the city...aka queer as folk
37. Baseball hat or toque?
since i don't know what a toque is....i'll go with a toque
38. Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
is this some sort of "how to" guide on stalking me?
39. Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste?
wet...and wild
40. Pen or pencil?
again, whatever i can steal from a coworker
41. Have you ever gambled at a casino?
i prefer sticking to cock fights
42. Have you thrown up on a plane?
no
43. Have you thrown up in a car?
no
44. Have you thrown up at work?
if you're wanting to know if i'm pregnant, the answer is no
45. Do you scream on roller coasters?
only when the safety bar is cutting off circulation
46. Who was your first prom date?
why would i go to prom? there was a "real world: new orleans" marathon that needed watching
47. Who was your first roommate?
Tania and Dani
48. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk for the first time?
probably something really gay....and yes, we are talking about alcohol
49. What was your first job?
writing the news for knx....all the news you need to know knx 10-70 news radio
50. What was your first car?
a red truck named clifford...i told you i name my cars!
51. When did you go to your first funeral?
i don't remember, is it supposed to be memorable? i mean, it's not a greatful dead concert
52. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown?
18
53. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Cole....she was a hefty blonde woman with a tight jerry curl...
54. Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Mazatlan, Mexico....my parents were trying to figure out what my "going rate" was....yes, i was born a blonde....
55. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
hmm...i don't remember, but it was to baskin robbins...i remember that
56. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them?
i just told you...baskin robbins
57. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?
HB
58. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day?
I call everyone...if I'm having a bad day...so should you.
59. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsman?
i was the ring bearer...for my sister debbie's wedding
60. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
put together a brand new combination of obscenities
61. What was the first concert you attended?
Wayne Newton...that's right...Mr Las Vegas himself
62. First tattoo or piercing?
I'm too much of a pussy to give blood....
63. First celebrity crush?
He-Man