So it's almost one a.m. on a saturday night/sunday morning and i find myself, once again unable to find sleep anywhere. i've spent the last couples of hours watching bits of movies...the dreamers....garden state...napoleon dynamite...
if you're looking for something intelligent are cathartic....stop reaing now...this is just the random, meanding typing of an insomniac...
today was an interesting day....i was reviewing resumes for a recptionist positions that needs to be filled at work...i was amazed by the general lack of...well...everything in some of the applicants...I got blank e-mails with attachments that had no cover letter or explanation....some people just threw together a list of things they've done in their lives...walked a dog....got the mail...chose not to sniff glue....went to elementary school...
on tv is a commercial for one of those chat lines where you supposedly pay nothing at all to talk to the most gorgeous people in your city- who like you, for some reason, have nothing better to do on a saturday nightthan wait for someone to call them.....and talk about the most banal issues possible...then again...i'm at home watching the commercials and then writing about them in my blog.....sigh....at least i actually wanted to stay home after a long day at work made longer by incompetent people...
i'll avoid sounding bitter.
my hands are cramping because they want to be doing something creative...i have a half a million paintings and drawings that should be finished...but also a pervading sense of lethargy....i want to sleep but i can't...does that mean that there's something i should be doing but i'm not? probably...i find myself wandering aimlessly with little thought other than to pause at random increments and ask myself " now...what was I going to do.." i think it's exhaustion more than anything else....exhaustion stemming from that feeling you have when something is about to happen...except...nothing is happening...is this the point in the conversation when i'm supposed to realize that i can't simply wait for something to happen but instead i must be making my own future? creating the universe blink by blink as gardener would have us believe....probably...but it won't be happening tonight....instead i'm going to sit here in front of this glowing box and wonder what i have in the pantry that would make a good midnight snack.....