its bizarre to think that january 2008 was a year ago so much has happened but it doesnt seem that long ago

this year has probably been the most life changing year. i turned 18 and passed my a levels. i took them to start with. i saw most of my other friends turn 18 and me not ha. i went to uni and met some amazing people. i learnt how to use an oven and a washing machine.i felt love for the first time and lost it. but at the same time met an amazing person. i finally saw slipknot despite them pulling out of reading festival. and machine heaad. they may not seem  as big as the others but they are to me.

seeing as i am working new years eve i will celebrate it on monday and specualte on next year now.

new years resolutions are to try and not cry so much. this sounds ridiculous but i do. not on purpose and i wish i didnt for the sake of my own sanity and for others around me. ive come to learn many people rly dunno how to act around me when im like it and i dont blame them. so from now on hormones are to be kept under control. the other more obvious one is less food. not diet just less. ive tried deiting to much before and it just causes more stress. but i know my weight and appearance is my main reason for low self confidence and its also often the reason i cry so the two will hopefully equal one another out. to think i cried becuase of it on christmas day is ridiculous, although i think some other things may have sparked it off. unless i get a personality transplant i think its impossible to set a resolution of stop being so paranoid and jealous, but ill at least try and let it go abit despite whats happened recently making that oh so much harder.

am i being too forgiving beucase i cant see any bad in the person or is it just they genuinely dont have any bad in them. i cant tell but ive forgiven but not forgotten nonetheless. i just hope whats happened doesnt effect us now. im carrying on as normal but the other person doesnt seem to be. they are more distant or maybe they always were and i never realised. i thought being at home through this would make it easier but i think i wouldve rather been at uni then i wouldve been forced to be more independant but who knows maybe family is best right now. my mums advice worries me more than anything with her vibe issue but ill stick to my thoughts for now.............