LIEBERMAN COMES OUT AGAINST THE PUBLIC TOILET OPTION
by R J Shulman
HARTFORD
- (PTSD News) - Senator Joe Lieberman has announced that he is strongly
opposed to the public toilet option of the Senate's health care reform
bill and will hold up any effort to push the bill through. "I see no
reason why we should send tax payer money down the crapper when the
private sector can take care of business better," he said.
"The
public toilet option will cause toilet rationing and will allow public
bureaucrats to come between the user and their toilet," Lieberman told
Sean Hannity on Fox. Representative Michele Bachmann, who also appeared
on Hannity said, "It's time the government stopped dumping on
taxpayers. I am calling for a nationwide boycott of toilets and for all
good Americans to march on Washington in one great big toilet party."
"Bachmann's so called 'toilet movement' is creating quite a stink, one
that the President can no longer ignore," Hannity said.
Democratic
Representative Alan Grayson of Florida who has spoken out against the
rising cost of private sector pay toilets said, "The Republican plan is
that if you don't have the money for a pay toilet, you just have to
hold it in until you die, and then you should die quickly." "I don't
understand why Grayson has got his panties in a bunch over this," said
House Minority Leader John Boehner, "Everybody knows sh*t happens."
"It's
no wonder that in just a short time the public toilet option has become
the number one or number two issue in America," said Ed Keister,
President of American Pay Toilets of Trumbull, Connecticut, the world's
largest manufacturer of pay toilets, "America simply does not want
socialized bathrooms." Keister, flush with cash from his recent $12
million dollar bonus said, "how is it our fault if a person is so
irresponsible to not have taken care of business before they left the
house. Now they want the taxpayer to clean up after their mess."
"I
reluctantly support the public toilet option, said Ohio Representative
Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, "although the best solution in my opinion is
the no-payer option like they have in Canada and Europe." Kucinich
pointed out that America is the only modernized country that has not
recognized the rights of people to use toilets because every other
nation knows, "when you gotta go, you gotta go." Newt Gingrich
disagreed. "Going to the bathroom is not a right, it's a privilege," he
said, "what incentive would their be for people to work if the bathroom
key was just handed to them?"
The Senate is
still haggling over a few points such as whether immigrants or gays
would be allowed to use the public toilet option. Former Senator Larry
Craig said he was not necessarily opposed to the public option. "It may
be tapping into a real need," he said, "and I support it as long as the
public toilet option allows people to use it who have a wide stance."
"The
people who are against the public toilet option are just peeing in the
wind," said Mark Stanley of People Organized Over Public Toilets, or
POOPT, a non-profit group supporting the public toilet option. "It's
time for Congress to get it's sh*t together. It's time for Congress to
either sh*t or get off the pot."