Dear My Sister,

Na wetin?

I e- mail, you no reply, abi Nepa take light for Texas? Na you bi senior and only girl for awa family and you no wan reply important e -yarn wey I send. Abeg, shake bodi jo.

Problem still full ground remain for here o! You sabi say I tell you say mai guys for Las Gidi dey spy my prospective fada in law. Ehen, lastest reports bi say na Infiniti jeep di man dey cruise for Ikeja. Mai sister, I no waste time o. I don order mai own. Chasis! Leather interior. Hhen! Na so I go dey play Infinity music for full blast dey drive 2 miles an hour as I approach this babe haus. You sabi the music I go dey Gbedu with now. Only praise by Infinity. When I say get up.. get up..when I say move..move..

Trust yua bros. Mi, I don remix am o!

I try sha.

Sister, e no easy to chase woman o! I return my Black Benz to make way for Infiniti. (Coins no complete) Chai! Mai Black beauty don go. I don even sell my shares dem to fund jeep. I do send off for Black beauty last night.

I come dey remember how I dey baff Black beauty every Saturday. All mai bad belle neighbours wit dia dorti cars go dey jealous mi and Black beauty as I dey rub im back. Remain smol I for commot all mai cloth begin baff with the car. I even buy special garden hose wey I dey ake 'shower' Black beauty. Na mai car shine pass for street. After baffing , I go towel am come wax am pomade. Next , na with toothbrush I go brush the rims make e all shine. My neighbours, so so grass dem dey cut. I muss confess my garden and front lawn wowo pass for the street. E even be laik I see bushmeat dey play for the grass. Mai sister you sabi now, for awa adugbo, cutting grass na punishment. Even sef , na prisoner work. Wetin corncern Naija man with mowing lawn. Abeg, talk anoda thing jo.

You remember Johnny? Number 5 im draiva. Dat man wey dey baff Chief Benz to nonsense. How ironic. 2 minutes from their compound, poto-poto full road. Johnny go reach office drop Chief, then begin dey baff moto again. Sister, shebi we been dey talk say Johnny na original suffer head dat time abi? Mai own don pass Johnny own o. But now my Benz don go. Ha! May her engine rest in perfect peace.

Anyway, the past is gone. You sabi say I don intimate you say love professor talk say Omoge dey marry person wey remind am of im papa. You sabi now. Girls need protection and na dia papa dey give dem dat. So when sharp guy dress up like dia papa, come display some kindness and intelligence, dem go just gree di bobo own kia kia. My sister, se you si say you bros clever eh?

Dis Infiniti QX jeep plus Infinity sound track go make di baby jell. Olori Oko dey come o! 4 wheel independent suspension plus 5 speed automatic transmission. I no know book o!

I know say you go dey wonder how dis babe look. I no go send you picture. You sabi say yua bros gather lyrics for mouth now, make I describe am.

Her skin smooth, eyes, haba, the eyes, na mesmerising eyes o. Nose straight like gaytor on top recruit in khaki trousa. The smile and laff, ah, dat no na air conditioner in the middle of a hot day. Did neck sef, persin fit sleep on top, forget all im problems. Weight nko? Na 61 Kg and BMI index na 19. The waist hip circumferent na 0.7 meaning say belle smol pass Bakassi circumference. I no try? Na with eye I take calculate all dis calculations so. You sabi too as women fit take eye scan man, tell you how much im dey worth. Ehen. Man go scan di waist see how e go born and woman go scan di pocket to see if moni dey for baby milk. All we all dey scan o! I digress.

Eye brow nko? None dey o. She don shave all commot, come paint black line on top. Every time I see the black line e dey do mi laik make I lick am commot. I know say you go abuse me here. Same to you.

No mi only mi get dis problem o. Na parti I dey last week with awon boys, na im conversation start on the bad taste of some new foundations wey I think na Fashion fair abi na Mary Kay dey make. Boys all agree say dem no laik di taste ra ra o. Some guys even begin abuse Estee Lauder range, say the lip stick no sweet. In conclusion we , awon boys , come pass resolution say we go float awa own make up and cosmetic company wey go dey make, goat meat pepper soup flavoured lip stick, Suya flavoured mascara and Egusi flavoured foundation before Oyinbo kill awon boys with their yeye tasting cosmetics. I don digress pata pata.

Mai sister, you get any tips to help mi woo dis girl? Anything wey I neva rememba to do. No mention native doctor haus o. You sabi say I bi Christian, ehen.

Ehen, you remember say I promise say I go come follow una play for Texas. Ah, abeg cancel am from yua dayari. Dis Infiniti jeep don drain mai pocket. I know say for yua mind, you think say I waste moni. You gat to know say persin wey wan catch whale, no bi smol 5 Naira ponmo e go put for di hook. Di bait must bi commensurate to the Lepa's beauty, poise, class, strutting, pouting, up bringing, education and general splendour. In short, if she dey pa, di bait muss to dey pa.

Na tomorrow I go collect di jeep o. I don iron mai special Atiku up and down. I look handsome, marketable, likeable, and physically comely and attractive. Dis only thing bi say dis Infiniti jeep don carry all mai moni go. Sister, moni no dey for insurance. Not even petrol. Abeg, you fit loan mi four thousand Dollars. Why you dey abuse mi now? You mean if I call Sunny for parti , you no go spray mi common 4K. I need di moni tonight. Western union dey Texas? Moni gram nko? Abeg no disappoint. You sabi say no romance without finance.

Your bros

Crazy in love

Babawilly