Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BUDDHA:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road and there was much rejoicing.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define "chicken" please?

DARWIN:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

EINSTEIN:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken is a matter of relativity.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just released the new eChicken 2008, which will not only cross roads, but will also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook; and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken!

GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain. Alone.

DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road but why it crossed, I've not been told.