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The Sex Zombies



Last Updated: 11/30/2009

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Status: Single
State: New Jersey
Country: US
Signup Date: 4/25/2007

Who Gives Kudos:


Monday, April 13, 2009 
So...we don't often blog, but what happened yesterday was so insanely fucked up and disrespectful that we feel the need to, at the very least, post it here so that it doesn't happen to you. It's a public service announcement......listen up,fuckers, because we don't do this often.  
Yesterday, we got our asses up and on the road early to play an all ages show at 6 p.m. in Springfield, Massachusetts. If you know us, you realize that this is pretty amazing to begin with.  Springfield is about four hours away, in case you didn't realize. We picked up our friend Stevie Kaos on the way, got a little lost, and finally found the club.
This is when we realized we had been fucked! The club was locked and not a soul was to be found.  The club owner answered our incessant doorbell ringing and was apathetic to the fact that we just drove four hours in the rain to play an imaginary show. He allowed us to call the motherfucker who booked the show whose name is Tony from Blastermonkey Productions. Tony said he cancelled the show, but didn't think to call and let us know, and we could swing by and he'd buy us some beer. He also swore he left a note on the door informing us of this change. There was no note and, even if there was, its really a moot point after driving for so long. Not only that, but Sex Zombies drink hard alcohol....not beer. That's just putting salt in the wound.
We left Tony a note of our own stating, "Punk Show Cancelled Due to an Asshole" and took off to Northampton to visit our friend Kev, Stevies older brother, who tried to hook us up with another show. We wandered homeless and aimlessly around the lesbian capital of the world, cold and needing a fucking show. Through some miracle or through some random act of oral sex, Dan procured us a show at The Elevens....a club that, as far as I know, is relatively difficult to get into.
We played a "Fuck Tony" set and were pleasantly and strangely excited when the crowd began screaming"Fuck Tony" with us. As it turns out, Tony from Blatermonkey had fucked over everyone in the club and they all agreed that he was, and still is, a selfish, disrespectful asshole who is the type of promoter that takes off with the money before the show is even over. And is the type of promoter who makes the assumption that the girl in the band is really the merch-girl. And is the type of promoter that doesn't even listen to or like music.(Perhaps you have met this type of promoter before).
Anyway, the moral of the story is this. Tony tried to fuck us over, but in the end Sex Zombies were triumphant. Actually, Tony kinda wound up saving our set because he gave us something to be pissed off about and everyone in Northampton now agrees...Fuck Tony!
Thanks for reading!
-Scarlet Fever
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ALEXANDER THE POET

 
Dude, that is so not cool. That promoter should be blacklisted and everyone should know not to deal with him.

 
Posted by ALEXANDER THE POET on Monday, April 13, 2009 - 3:47 AM
[Reply to this
The Devil And Stevie Kaos [Selling Art]
Stevie Daley

 
Stevooo
 
Posted by The Devil And Stevie Kaos [Selling Art] on Monday, April 13, 2009 - 3:56 AM
[Reply to this
Reverend Flashback
Heather Bennett

 
FUCK TONY!!!
 
Posted by Reverend Flashback on Monday, April 13, 2009 - 5:01 AM
[Reply to this
Dusty "Numbnuts" Hixx

 
Yeah, Fuck Tony

Trust me, when Hixx promises you a show, we will do the following; feed you, booze you, (hopefully)house you and pay you(and put a little gas in your tank, over and above!) Sorry you had to endure that horseshit!!
 
Posted by Dusty "Numbnuts" Hixx on Monday, April 13, 2009 - 8:30 PM
[Reply to this
The Urban Shocker

 
Yeah, fuck him and everybody named Tony...oh, wait.




Glad you didn't make the trek for nothing.

 
Posted by The Urban Shocker on Monday, April 13, 2009 - 10:40 PM
[Reply to this
lets throw rocks at cars!

 
tony is a cocksmoker.


glad you guys got to come over and hang. lets set something up again.


poop,

kevin
 
Posted by lets throw rocks at cars! on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 - 12:33 AM
[Reply to this
Bad Whoremoans

 
FUCK TONY.


Love you guys.

 
Posted by Bad Whoremoans on Tuesday, April 14, 2009 - 1:14 AM
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Marisette (2 NEW SONGS UP NOW!)

 
Someone just recommended that we contact 'Tony at Blastermonkey' to book us an East Coast tour this summer. Considering that he was 'recommended' by the band who referred him, I thought 'cool...maybe this guy isnt a total idiot like the rest of the promoters I've come across.' So I searched his name to find his contact...but I found this instead. Thanks for the review, guys. Its good to know!

 
Posted by Marisette (2 NEW SONGS UP NOW!) on Tuesday, June 09, 2009 - 5:58 PM
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Corinne

 
Wow, its funny I didn't see this before. I just have to say that you've got this ALL WRONG! For those of you out there that have commented on this, I get it that you are trying to support your friends/band, but they are playing you! I am very very close to Tonye and blastermonkey and can tell you that I was there on the day in question and know for a complete fact that Tonye tried his damn ass off to get the sex zombies to the show (that's right, the show was NOT CANCELLED but just moved since THE CLUB OWNERS WERE 3 HOURS LATE AND BEING A MUSICIAN AND MUSIC RESPECTER, THE SHOW MUST GO ON IN TONYE'S EYES!!). I was even standing right there when Tonye talked to these guys on the phone trying to give them directions to the new location. The Sex Zombies, after driving all that time, refused to come ten minutes up the road to the new location!!  I even offered my personal services to meet them at the club and have them follow me up the road to the new show. We had 50+ kids waiting there to see them play and still had bands on the 'stage' (we moved the show to our personal warehouse just to make sure these guys had a place to play so they didn't have to drive all that way for nothing) Still they didn't come and alas, even the promise of beer and fans was not enough for the Sex Zombies. Funny they literally drove right past where we were to get to Northampton.
We not only left a note at the club but also had 2 kids wait there for 2.5 hours just to make sure that when the sex zombies showed up there would be someone there for them to follow. After so many hours those cats came to the show assuming the note would suffice, which it must have since they knew to call my phone, not a number they had before, yet Tonye is somehow the ass hole.
BlasterMonkey Entertainment was formed so bands would not have to play for money grubbing promoters. If any of you took the time to go to their site and check them out you'd see that they have the best payscale to local bands of any promoter maybe ever...Tonye is notoriously the LAST person out of the club and honors his payscale even days or weeks after the show. I have seen bands approach him time and time again and thank him for being a richeous dude and taking care of the local scene (he too is a local musician and has been fucked by many promoters, so therefore fights really hard for the local scene and has even walked away from clubs that will not allow a payscale to local rockers) and anyone who blogs and says fuck someone that they never met is not so richeous themselves...you should all post to Tonye and apologize for being so rash...SUPPORT LOCAL ROCK!!
Corinne
 
Posted by Corinne on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 2:29 AM
[Reply to this
The Sex Zombies

 
1.  Our story is true beginning to end.
2.  There was absolutely no note on the club. There were five of us who drove to this show. The club was closed. We knocked on the door for a few minutes and then a bewildered owner opened it and told us the show was off. He also told us that there was no note. He let us call Tony, who was A HUGE ASSHOLE and made it seem as though it was OUR FAULT that he decided to move the show without telling anyone in our band.
3. We've never heard of you, Corinne, and we've never been offered your "personal services", but if you're offering now.....we love oral.
4. We met at least 20 people who expressed a deep disgust for Blastermonkey and have had similar experiences with Tony.
5. We don't drink beer and you can't win us over that easy......we like expensive hard alcohol, as is mentioned in our blog, if u bothered to read that far.  
6. You left people there to meet us? That's news to us.
7. Again, let's reiterate......there was no fucking note. There was no way to get in touch with Tony. Tony, however, had our contact information and had ample time to let us know of his plans. To change them, not call us, and leave us an imaginary note, is insulting to us and serves to show what type of promoter Tony is. And he is just the type of promoter that we are NOT interested in working with.

 
Posted by The Sex Zombies on Sunday, July 12, 2009 - 10:46 PM
[Reply to this
The Devil And Stevie Kaos [Selling Art]
Stevie Daley

 
who gives a fuck tonys is a loser who doesnt know how to promote shows and books lame ass bands (cept sex sombies and they hate us) so a big fuck you corinne. there was no kids waiting, no personal services, your probably his cock sucking whore who he fucks on the side. oh tony big buisness man, wooowww 50 kids at one whole show, oh my god. so fuck you you stupid cunt, fuck tony. it wasnt 10 minutes up the streeet dumb fuck, and why would they honestly want to play that shit. the dude booked an all ages punk show next to a fucking K mart. I was with them the ENTIRE time from begginging to end also, and its one hundred percent true  so fuck you you assholes are never getting the orgasm creating band known as The Sex Zombies.
 
Posted by The Devil And Stevie Kaos [Selling Art] on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 - 3:48 PM
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