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Current mood:  quixotic Category: Life
My god, it's almost 2 months since I was here! Life has continued unchecked. I've managed to enroll myself in school (starts in 2 days) and commit myself to about $7500 worth of debt to do so. With luck it will be about $12,000 by the time I get my BS. In Communications, which is to say a BS in BS. Emphasis on Technical Writing, so I'll be a TECHNICAL BSer. And then maybe law school, so a truly professional, well paid BSer. I never cease to be amazed at how few people actually know or understand me, who I am, what I'm saying, what I'm thinking, what my life is. I'm starting to be a hermit not out of choice (although that's always part of it) but out of there's nobody who wants to or knows how to play with me. A very lonely feeling, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. I'd say "Damnit, I'm not that weird." but the truth is that I am. And I like me that way. I've worked hard to get here. To steal a line, I used to be different, but now I'm the same. And there's no going back. I'm missing my husbands, I'm missing my life I left behind. Not that I can or would return to any of it. Change of subject - I'm going to file income taxes for the first time in a very long time. And under occupation it's going to say "writer." That feels so satisfying, even if it DOES mean I'll have to pay taxes. It feels the way people must feel when they are living in a foreign country, unexplored territory, new discoveries every day, more about yourself than about where you are. And you can go home again, but you're never the same, you've become someone you didn't know but have learned to like, at least tentatively.
6:56 PM
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