I’ve added many things to this blog over the past month. I was planning on posting it with hopes that Paula would return. But I am saddened to say she will not be returning next year. I just found out not too long ago. So, below are my thoughts prior to the news and I also included a personal note to Paula at the end.

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ET put me on the spot when the Dreams and me were on a break for lunch at our Apollo Theatre photo shoot. The question popped up during our interview…. “How do you feel about Paula leaving”, I told them I love Paula and I hope she doesn’t leave”, but I forgot to mention so many things.

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Some people do their job, because they have to, they hate it, but love the money. They are there because they have to be and they hate putting in over time. Well, not Paula she always made time, especially when it came to the contestants. After each show the stage crew rushes us off stage and the judge’s security rushes them off as well, but in the midst of the rush Paula was always there ready to hug us all and give her encouraging words. Her security would grab her arm and be very stern with her to move things along and Paula would say, ” “Wait a minute” with her tiny voice.

I never had time to really get to know the judges one on one. None of us did. We did the show, saw them, briefly spoke sometimes, saw them at parties and said hello and that was it.  We didn’t have their personal info. And they weren’t our best friends. They were the judges and we were the contestants.

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During Hollywood Week (One of The Most Stressful Times in My Life) Paula stopped by our Green Room to congratulate us all and she gave all 50 hopefuls Fancy Christmas Stalking Caps. As soon as I got back to my home in Miami I tacked it up on the wall. That was the day I experienced the Paula compassion. She gave all of hugs. She could have easily returned to her dressing room or trailer, but she made time for us. I remember feeling so loved and comfortable around her. She is a genuinely nice person with a beautiful soul. Whenever you are in the room with Paula you can feel her positive energy.

Paula is known for giving gifts to the Idol contestants. Season 7 she gave us Rock Bands. In the center of the band is a stone each one with a different meaning. Mine was the “Stone of Elegance”. It is a very calming stone that decreases anxiety, brings service to mankind, enhances passionate love, helps one achieve great potential, fights emphysema, inflammation and throat issues (lol), and opens the heart chakra. I was so impressed with Paula, because the meaning of the stone was significant to each person. She did her research and gave us a stone that was best fitting for who we were.

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..Out of all the Idol judges I really clicked with her, not only is she beautiful on the outside, but also her inner beauty really shines through and she has this positive energy so, that every time you are around her you can’t help but smile. Paula is one of the most selfless people I know. The last time we spoke she shared a personal story with me about how she helped someone else get to where they are today.  She was always sharing stories and her personal experiences to help us contestants.  She was the one that nurtured us all and was always there to give her advice...

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The process of being judged can be intimidating, nerve racking, and just hard overall. We all appreciated the honesty of all the judges, but a lot of the times those comments were piercing. Paula was always the one to be honest yet considerate of our human emotions. I think sometimes people forget about other’s feelings. You never know what someone is going through, so you always have to be mindful and Paula was. I really enjoyed that element she brought to the show. With the other two personalities Paula balanced it out.

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I wish you Paula all the best in your future endeavors. You are positive and wise individual. I love you Paula and I just want you to know you really made a positive impact in my life. You were always there for us all and we appreciate you and thank you for being you. Thanks for helping me be true to my artistry and thanks for showing me the importance of giving and standing up for what I believe.