one:
my friend kathleen started crocheting a few years ago. since then,
she's made things for everyone else -- blankets for her niece, hats
for her friends (i have one), scarves for her family -- but nothing
for herself. so one day she decided she deserved something -- a
crocheted hat. she went to a fancy yarn shop and bought expensive
yarn. she worked for weeks on her hat til it was perfect. it was
winter at this point and she wore that hat everywhere. well one day, a
work day, she went out to lunch and lost her hat somewhere between
work and the restaurant. she was bummed, but she eventually forgot
about it... til one day she was walking through a tunnel in the metro
-- the same tunnel she walks through everyday on the way to work, past
the same handful of pan-handlers -- and she saw her hat -- on the head
of a homeless woman who was asking her for change! she said, "hey
where did you get that hat?" and the woman said, "my friend gave this
to me, why?" and kathleen said, "oh, no reason. it just looks like
something i made." well, of course it was something she made. and
there wouldn't be another one like it anywhere in the world with the
same yarn and shape and handmade care. the homeless woman looked her
straight in the eye, jutted her lower jaw out and said, "you tryin' to
say i took your hat!? 'cause my friend gave this to me five years
ago!" and kathleen told her no, don't worry about it, and walked away.
then she ran into the homeless vet she likes to give money to. he
looked at her and said, "you look terrible. you always wear the worst
clothes!" and she laughed and handed him a dollar. "he always tells me
he hates my clothes," she told me. and for some reason she thinks it's
hilarious. and she always gives him some change.
two:
yesterday after work i was walking to the metro and this woman came up
to me and pleaded, "please ma'am, can you help us," (she nodded to her
friend and the three kids around the two women's legs). "we live in
the shelter and we're tryin' to get some food for our kids. someone
gave us half a sandwich and a soda, but that's not enough." these
women looked clean, well-dressed. the two little twin girls with twin
frizzy pigtails were wearing clean yellow polo shirts. the boy (a
little bit older, maybe 8), was wearing a nice striped shirt. i
wondered if they were just scamming me. then i thought, what the hell,
who cares. i've got some money, so why not. i reached into my wallet
and handed her two dollars and walked away. but as i walked i felt
worse and worse. why didn't i offer to buy the kids dinner? i have
more than enough. and what would ten or even twenty dollars really
mean to me? i looked over my shoulder, thought about going back, but
they were gone. i took the escalator down to the metro, boarded the
train and made up my mind. the next time that happened, i would buy
dinner. period. the conductor called out "woodley park, adams morgan"
and i rode the escalator back up, striding down the street to mr.
chen's. i was craving some good tofu. i put in my order and felt
guilty about buying myself food when my money should've gone for
something better. i went to the bathroom and washed my hands (letting
the guilt drain away), and thought about how wonderful the world is,
how complicated. and i thought almost aloud, how could there not be a
god, some higher power, some idea of perfect order that lies behind
everything, puts everything in its right place at exactly the right
moment? my food still wasn't ready, so i took a seat at a table by
myself. this horrible high note started buzzing, at first softly and
then louder. it got so unbearable, i considered walking out and
waiting on the stoop. but just when i could almost bear it no longer,
i looked up, caught the glance of this middle-aged man eating dinner
alone, and it broke into silence. he waved a finger at me and i
smiled. then he nodded, stood up, and walked over. he put his hand on
my table and said, "i'm buying your dinner tonight." i said, "oh no,
that's very sweet of you, but that's too generous." "no," he said, "i
insist." i tried to refuse again, but he just smiled and stepped back,
pulling his hand away to reveal a twenty dollar bill. my eyes widened
and the waitress brought me my bag of food. as i walked out of the
restaurant, i dipped my head down by the man's table and said, "you
really shouldn't have, but i do appreciate it. i really do." he smiled
and i smiled back. because i knew why i had to accept his gift.
it's the money i'll use to buy dinner for the next kids who need it.
three:
after finishing my tofu, i cracked open my fortune cookie and read it
aloud: "you will inherit a large sum of money." and in a very chinese
proverbial sort of way, i knew that it meant something bigger. because
you see, i already inherited a large sum of money last night, before i
ever read that paper. whatever i will have, i already do have. it's
just a matter of time catching up.
kathleen didn't know she was saving her pennies til she could give
that homeless woman something better than money -- a handmade hat to
keep her warm through the winter. and i didn't know i already had the
money to buy those kids dinner; it was just gonna take a little time
to wind up in my pockets.
sometimes timing *isn't* everything.
...