the official "i have got a crush on you!" mix tape

play for you beloved if you a) lose sleep over them b) wanna love them like a reptile c) wanna trip them up d) all of the above

the correct answer is d people!

1. ra ra riot - can you tell

such an obvious choice, but it makes a great opener. How much better can you get; "oh have i been too discreet? how long am i supposed to wait? I think about you nightly, oh can you tell i'm losing sleep?" the song that says, I'd love to tell you about this huge crush but I can't, but can you tell by the way I act like a nimwit around you?

2. ida maria - i like you so much better when you're naked

well i mean, if you've got crush, of course you'd like em better if they were naked. "light a cigarette, only smoke when im with you, what the hell did i do that for? you're just another guy, ok you're kinda sexy, but you're not really special...."

3. alkaline trio - clavicle

more obvious sexual yearning and tension. the main thing to remember here? "i wanna wake up naked, next to you, kissing the curve in your clavicle." the clavicles are the ones that portrude from your upper chest, btw. nothing dirty here folks.

4. garbage - no.1 crush

now what crush mix tape is complete without this song? it says, yes im a pyschopath, and you're lucky enough to be the apple of my eye! "I would die for you..."

5. nine inch nails - closer

self explanatory. "I wanna fuck you like an animal."

6. motorhead - love me like a reptile

oh this is just a bad ass song, and a bad ass band. how does one exactly make love like a reptile? I dont know, but I think it involves lots of licking. "Knew I had to bite you baby when I first laid eyes on you.."

7. the queers - parasite

like all the other songs before this, but way cuter. and kinda gross. but mostly cute! "like a parasite, i wanna crawl all over you!"

8. eagles of death metal - cherry cola

you wanna be my cherry cola? cause i can be your rock n rolla.

9. elvis presley - all shook up

 for that moment when you realize you are in throws of infatuation... "whats wrong with me? im itching like a man in a fuzzy tree, my friends say im acting as wild as a bug...im in love! im all shook up!"

10. dusty springfield - i only wanna be with you

"i dont know what it is that makes me love you so, i only know that i never wanna let you go."

11. the smiths - this charming man

okay, this song is apparently about gay sex or something. no idea. but i like the title. tell your crush he is a charming man.  its just a good tune. "that someone, so handsome, should care..."

12. the cramps - can't hardly stand it

this song is more about being dumped, but still fits good. "cause i cant hardly stand it, you're a troubling me! you got me all tore up."

13. chuck berry - brown eyed handsome man

alright. this song is out of place really. its just about handsome men, with brown eyes. but it fits my case. and its a really good song.

14. the soviettes - thinking of you

"how i love you, you will never know.." a little melodramatic though. "and when im dying, could i have loved you more?"

15. the descendents - i'm the one

number one best way to tell that friend that you're THE ONE and that she just needs to stop hanging out with jocks, jeez! Pretty much, Ducky's theme song. "I'm the one, I've been here all along"

16. the buzzcocks - ever fallen in love?

maybe you cant tell your crush your feelings because of extenuating circumstances. social standing. family ties. "ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't fall in love with?" haven't we all.

17. the damned - love song

kinda cheesy, kinda cute. "just for you, here's a love song, and it makes me glad to say, its been a lovely day."

18. fleetwood mac - say you love me

this is about sleeping with someone that doesnt really like you, or something messy like friends with benefits. whatever. its got the best title. 

19. the jesus and mary chain - you trip me up

"love's like the mighty ocean, when it's frozen that's your heart." huh? what? this song is about wanting to make that other person trip...cause they trip you up..

20. social distortion - ring of fire (j. cash cover)

cause i fell into a burning ring of fire! (fall into that fire with me?)

21. sinead o connor - nothing compares 2 u

priceless. "i can eat dinner in a fancy restaurant, but nothing, can take away these bluuues"

22. the raveonettes - if i was young

maybe youve got bad timing. big age difference keeping you apart? then this song totally works. "if i was young, and you were too, then i'm sure we'd run away.." its got a great sound. like hawaiian twanginess with country blues twanginess.

23. deftones - please please please let me get what i want (smiths cover)

alright, this song is about suicide, but really, its just about getting what you want. so please, please please, so you like me back, let me get what I want.