I have been living in SL for over two years now and the one thing I have learned, is that it patterns real life so much it's not funny. For as much as you try to avoid it, it's an impossible thing to do. For the past month now, something has been going on in my slife that makes me feel like I have to make a choice. In the same token, my slife is wonderful, I am so happy with the chain of events that has led me to where I am today. Blade and I will be celebrating our official one year anniversary in July, we have seven kids in our loving group, and the best brothers and sisters we could ask for. At the same time, I'm conflicted. Not about Blade, or the children, but someone else that I care very deeply for. I have this philosophy, say what you mean and say how you feel, don't sugar coat or beat around the bush. I hate that. And when someone is doing it to me, or making me feel like it, it peeves me to no end. I blew up at this person the other day for something that she did, which she had every right to do, but I don't think she understands that the decisions she makes causes great offense to those around her that she says she loves. And I feel that every action that she has taken for the past month is a result of something that didn't work out for her. Even after I explained it to her on more than one occasion, she doesn't see past her own faults in the situation to understand that those who were affected by what happened have feelings too and they should be considered as well. To me, she seems more concerned with how she feels instead of everyone else. I believe in loyalty, but trying to set limits on loyalty never works out for all parties involved. There are some who are involved who just threw their hands up and want to move on rather than dwell on the situation, but there are a few of us who just can't do that. Neither is wrong in how they feel or how they chose to handle the situation, but damn the tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife. The foundation of our family was formed out of love and respect for one another, but the group has gotten so big it's hard to remember that sometimes. We've all been burned by someone in the past, that's what brought us all together to begin with, and I think we are forgetting that.

I for one refuse to sweep issues under the rug and forget about them, because they are really not forgotten. Instead I choose to say how I feel and let the chips fall where they may. Call it selfish if you will, but the in the end, it's my own feelings, my own state of mind that has to matter the most, and I will no longer sacrifice my feelings to spare someone else. That only leaves you angry and hurt in the end.

So I guess the point of my post, for those who read and care, is never keep how you feel about a situation inside, if for no other reason than to make yourself feel better for getting it off your chest. I know I feel alot better, and whatever happens, happens. I believe in fate and I believe everything happens for a reason. Don't hold back to the point that you can't repair a relationship, share...share...share. At the least you may walk away with a little respect, either from them or for yourself.