The dust has settled and the audience has moved on. Meanwhile I'm coming to terms with a little achievement.

I should be pleased. I am. But shouldn't I be more pleased ?

Last Thursday so many people turned up to the gig I organized. More than I expected. Flattered and touched. Genuinely.
So many things went well: I didn't fuck up, I'm guessing some folk liked my songs, the video thing was interesting. Most of all: I Did It !!
Of course that doesn't stop me from nit-picking details that should have been better organized.

Next gig there'll be something else I'm not 100% happy with. Is it always going to be this way ? Probably. Better get used to it.

The 'folktronica' thing isn't really happening. I write concise songs and they don't lend themselves to un-natural extension. That's not to say I won't try again with 1 or 2 songs in the future. By the autumn/winter/spring I'll have more gig-ready songs. I think that's the reason why I went for the extended versions this time around: to fill out the gig.

I wonder what people think when they see me play this stuff. Do they really like it or are they being polite ? If they're being polite it's bloody expensive and time consuming for them so I can only guess they really do like what I'm doing. My other fear is that this is not sustainable: will the novelty wear off ? Next spring when I'm trying to get people to go see me in Whelans (large well known Dublin venue) will they show up again or will I be playing to a handful of die-hards ?

I'm still going to do it though. Until someone says I'm biting off more than I can chew I will keep going. I can't not do this.

I heard second hand that one of my songs (Bed For Sale) was praised by another songwriter I admire. So that's two: Dan & Thomas Walsh. Good enough for me. My hunch that there's a rich vein to mine there is right. I should trust myself an little more and use my own voice.

To that end I dug out a song I had been working on titled 'Turning Blue'. It's not a million miles away in tempo and feel from McCartney's "Young Boy" and the colour imagery in the song is probably a bit simple but screw it. While goofing around with the song this evening another song came out. Having had too many glasses of wine to be disciplined about finishing it I might have a bit of a slog to get 2 more verses and a middle 8. Maybe not.

Perhaps when I start demo'ing these two songs with drums & bass & electric guitars the sounds will inspire me to finish the songs. Maybe they're not meant to be finished yet.


Reflecting back on the set I played last Thursday I know what I'm doing right:
- picking a couple of cover versions and making them my own
- keeping the songs concise
- engaging with the audience
- keeping the show going no matter what is happening

Some of the songs just aren't going to be keepers and that's ok. At least I know they're not and as soon as I have better material I'll replace the songs one-by-one. Next time around I want to open with 'Bed For Sale'

So to close, here's a video clip from the gig with that very song. [Yes I know the bloody camera is cutting my head off... I set it up before the gig and didn't have time to deal with the details.]