how important my songs are to me. i haven't heard some in years. thanks to the internet i was able to download SUPER old ones that i didn't even know were still around. they throw me back to where i was, what i was going through, who, when, how, why.

it's 3am on saturday night. i'm listening to myself and drinking high life light.

lately i've been distracted by life and focusing my creative energy other places.

my creative energy is at a stand still right now.

i'm listening to "august and fall." i remember sitting in the bedroom of my second apartment and writing it in front of my closet mirror. after my break up.

"a lonely sight for your wandering eyes." recorded at a house in royal oak with jason and mike. he knows it's about him.

"nicholas." why does this song even exist? obvious. the first 10 seconds reminds me of "hotel yorba" lol

"easy lover" was his favorite. for some reason.

"I should've thought twice." written outside a hotel in lousiville KY with katie talbert, ex upstairs. comes out for a cigarette. unhappy i'm writing a song like that. we played it the next night at a coffee shop.

"drunk and not married" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a popular one. written in my parent's basement. pad of paper on the pool table, folding chair. about being arrested, whether you believe it or now. also one of my mom's fave cuz i mention her name. or what i call her. not really about her. she doesn't think i'm becoming a problem.

"hillsborough street." wooooooooaaaaahhhh. a street in north carolina. also created at the pool table in my parent's basement. god, i love this song.

i'm such a sad excuse for a woman i know, the women you chose don't know you break so many hearts.

years later, i'm satisfied.

"misery loves company." idk. it's weird when you can't remember the words to your own song.

"my only memory." i never thought i was clever writer. this is fictional i think.

"somehow." i don't really remember. i was on my bed in my second apartment, after i moved it from my bedroom to the sitting room. regular muse, i think.

i know.

"sometimes still." oldddddddddddd. same muse.

"wait wait wait" i loved as soon as i wrote it. on my bed, second apartment. yes, about you.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhh i need more to drink!

just had to get that out.

thanks for sticking with me.




xxx