I'm in love with a man who I don't know if he wants me anymore. I call him and ramble about things that don't really matter. He vaguely replies and gives details on his end of the world. I know he's multitasking every time I am on the phone. Mainly he plays a game that I absolutely loathe, but put up with only because I know that he puts with all my little quirks and obsessions. I love him so dearly, but he won't clearly convey what he wants from me. This makes it confusing for me. Almost four years of this one sided love affair, and I feel that his love for me was only conveyed only a couple of times out of this time. Once this last Valentine's Day and before that a couple of years ago in front of a bonfire while our friends were getting more stuff to burn. He's so candid that I don't know what he is thinking.

To heal my spinning head I have turned to my first love, books, not just any book. This series has never made me feel this was since I read The Face on the Milk Carton series. I didn't believe it was possible, but apparently it is. I am now involved with yet again a fictional character on such a level that I have dreams about him. I haven't felt this way since I thought I would never have someone to call my own, and now that I do I don't know what to do. I've tried to think of little scenarios where I combined the two, and it wasn't the same. Separated or together I don't know what I want anymore.

Confusion of a girl who became a woman in only a few months or is she still a girl who longs to be a woman.