Infancy

I was the one

that held you up

when gravity itself had enough

of you and all the games you play.

It's not the flame that heals the burn

I've seen the lights

guiding me into your heart, your hiding place.

I'd like to think that all of this was a dream

so I could wake up and try your game.

All those things that you thought you felt

must have been just illusions in your head

because you said:

you were the one that would never leave

and you said

you were the one that would never leave,

so never leave.

Like open windows,

they are my eyes

they see through dust

and darkened skies

They see the truth

even in disguise

so speak it now

or forever hold your fucking peace

And those things that you said you meant

were no more than just words instead.

Outspoken

The aftermath that consumes me:

it leaves me with nothing but dust

in a place were hearts can thrive and be without anger.

So how much can my heart take

before, like glass, it breaks?

Its only a matter of time before it's beats expire.

Believe me

from these feelings I don't want this

to be the end of everything that I now miss.

Soon I will learn to repair what's' been broken

(all I want, all I want)

My conscience now ashames me

and reminds me of what I've done.

The things that I can't take back are the things that keep me frozen

and in this state I bleed, suffocate, and bleed for forgiveness as my hope 

recedes that the ice will melt and I will freeze no longer.

Starting Song

I am not a mime

I speak words with meanings

I see, I'm not blind to anything at all

and you speak these words to me

to make me believe that life is just a stepping stone.....

Well,

I am not a mime

I speak words with meanings,

I see but but I'm still blind

to always something in this world.

So you speak these words to me to make me believe that life is just

your stepping stone.

When realigned through passing time

oh will we ever find?

What we believed is true.

Time is the one that pulls the strings

on everyone and everything

but if there's one thing time won't tell:

were do we go when it's over?

Pull the strings,

come on mother fucker.

Will the walls come down on me

and bury me within all of their debris?

(so much for happiness, so much for our dreams)

(so much for cleanliness, so much for being free)

And will my soul leave instantly?

..If so, who will carry it to where it must be

(so much for happiness, so much for our dreams)

(so much for cleanliness, so much for being free)

Will the walls come down on me

and bury me within all of their debris?

Aura

Lies took the place of everything we thought was real

it damaged happiness far beyond what time can heal....

and everything seems so fake.

In solitude you will remain

left still with glass in a pictures frame

and in solitude you will learn

as I have learned:

whatever you don't turn around, don't look around

just fucking run.

Faith is distrust,

love is only lust,

and everything just turned dust.....

because your fake

I was waiting for a simple blessing from God,

anything divine to save me

and I've waited for so long.

I can't wait here forever for you.

Lies took the place of everything we thought was real.

Destiny's Choice

Now, on my knees

I release my prayers--

disintegrate into the air.

Unfold my wings

and learn to fly.

Deploy myself,

unto that sky.

And on my knees,

within my tears,

becoming what it is I fear

the most under this deceitful spell.

Is this my heaven or is this my hell?

There's a ghost that is haunting you.

There's a ghost that is haunting me.

it's everywhere that we go,

it's everything we see.

It takes us by surprise,

every time we think that it's over

it has just begun.

So as we close our eyes

and let ourselves forget,

we spend no more time with this regret.

But one day you'll scream in despair,

just like you made me,

and struggle to breath

by no one's choice

but by your destiny.

There is a hope that is taunting me

a hope I hold deep inside,

in the corner of my heart,

it let's me see the sky.

It takes me by surprise

every time I think that it's over

it has just begun

So take his hand

but don't rely on it.

No don't rely on anything because everything is just a lie

and things can never change to become right

Hope is lost,

hope is deceit,

hope is nothing.

We weren't brought to life

just to live like ghosts

and were still alive

yet we live like ghosts

and were still alive

no were not ghosts

were still right here.

Disintegrate into the air

become what it is that your fear.

Down on my knees

within my tears

becoming what it is I fear

the most under your deceitful spell

this isn't heaven but it isn't hell

To Mend

The face reminded me of a much better place than here.

Alive, it shinned for me through my darkness and fear

but oh, how it flew away

with autumn leaves in the wind.

Too much is never enough,

the crave is still in me.

Addiction to bandage the lies you told me.

There's no need to pretend,

this is how it is.

Faith has become my enemy;

keeping me from lies.

Truth, as if it all were a dream.

It will never wear on youth

or ever banish my dreams

But when I look in my own eyes:

reassurance of my fall to endless sleep.

You want to know what this creates?

Well, come on in.

We couldn't mend the beyond impaired,

moving through the impossible

to never shine just like we did before.

We couldn't mend the beyond impaired

or make it through the impossible

but can we shine just like we did

before?

The colors faded,

demised the sunshine in a world that we created

and it can never be the same anymore.

The Daylight Falls

This is is a breaking point

between what's happiness with opened wounds.

If you just act happily my wounds will not heal.

They will just become scars of a distant memory

and I don't want to become just a distant memory.

It's that time again,

can I get it right?

Or will I waste everything

just like I did before?

Running out of time

wading and searching for

the things that I can't find.

Maybe I can learn to breathe on my own.....

it's set in stone;

I will rise

and you will see

the daylight falls

back down on me

and I will deprive of my travesty.

The day will come: never.

Serein

A little man appeared to me as a magician

and then he showed to me:

a little trick that he used to con me from my things

and from my way of believing that the wind can't blow away

everything that I hold dear, rain falls but the sky is so clear.

Inside I know you believe

that the wind can't blow away everything we treasure

and inside I know you believe that we won't be waking up to the same

disaster.

I'm wishing this was just a dream.

I'm wishing this was just a lie

but it's as real as life can be,

it's as real as the falling skies.

Falling inside, like stones held high,

there's nowhere to go,

no where to hide.

And it's always it's in my head:

this monster with eyes glowing red.

Something in my worst of dreams

that's found it's way inside of me:

serein, serein.

This is our nightmare

and it will never end.

This is our nightmare,

we'll never wake up.