well i haven't written in awhile but for the most part life is good. I couldn't be happier with Brian. He means the world to me. i am just frustrated with a lot of other things. i am really really tired of my commute. i never feel fully rested even on my days off. i get really grumpy and moody and i dont really want to be but i sometimes just cant control it. i dont feel good about myself i just really even have the energy to go to the gym. i cant stand looking in a mirror sadly. i am really stressed out about my upcoming interview for a managers position. i dont know what i will do if i dont get it. i deserve it. i have worked my ass off for this company and have been through so much shit its insane. i really just want a sense of normallcy. i want to enjoy daylight and spend actual time with brian and not heres dinner and now im going to bed. is that really to much to ask? im really gonna have to wait and see what happens with this managers spot. everything lies in the results of this position.