 |
Category: Blogging
Though I was pretty sure it would never happen to my increasingly curmudgeonly and waning ass again, I gotta tell you: I think I have fallen in love.
Yep. This time with a waiter who works at a place where my dear Paula Mae and I dine on a regular basis. I’m not going to mention the name of this great little eatery (with outdoor tables covered in festive, tropical, plastic tablecloths), but I will tell you they serve up some really fine tomato basil soup and have at least one waiter who (though a tad, a smidge, a trifle Emo — and Emo really gets on my nerves) will gladly bring it to you.
This wee-bit Emo waiter’s young. I’d say he’s between 11 and 33, probably falls somewhere in the middle, around 22.
He’s a thin, pale and efficient boy. And though I’ve long ago sworn off the young (and until recently was holding out for one-time general manager of MSNBC Dan Abrams, but that was before the network shook up their prime-time lineup and replaced him with Rachel Maddow), I do find I really like thin, pale and efficient.
I also like Rachel Maddow, though I heavily suspect she isn’t a replacement for Abrams at all. I think Dan was given a makeover and he and the slightly more masculine Rachel are actually the same person.
Anyway, this waiter guy has dark bangs that are like a careful row of commas just above his eyebrows.
And I think being in love again will do wonders for my mood and outlook —neither of which are very rosy these days. I don’t know why.
It just seems like the more enlightened I get the dimmer is the world around me. This is especially true of Old Louisville, where this pretty interesting little restaurant is located and is an area of my city I once thought magical. Now it just seems to be a bunch of full-of-themselves hummus-eating fuckers in good shoes, drab buildings, traffic and the occasional homeless guy.
I have no idea what pale, thin, efficient almost-Emo guy’s name is, but I’m betting it’s Connor. He could be a Hunter, but my money’s on Connor. It doesn’t matter: I love him.
So now all I have to do is somehow convince him being loved by someone old enough to be his great-great-great-grandfather, someone slightly balding, slightly pudgy and slightly flatulent (okay, a lot flatulent) would be the best thing to ever happen to him. You know — make my pitch about how much he could enjoy nice lunches, slow walks and waiting for prescription refills and lab results.
It won’t be an easy sell. It’s an uphill battle, but I think I have enough charm and a scary enough gun that in time I could persuade him to at least consider an affair with me.
And let me just say that a good deal of my desire to woo near-but-not-quite-Emo boy has little to do with sex. I am, after all, 55 years old and most everything I own aches or swells (in a worrisome, not good, way).
But I would so like some interesting male company from time to time and he might be interesting, maybe.
Now if for some sick reason he’d actually want to have sex with me, I’d give it a shot. It wouldn’t be pretty though. Imagine Newt Gingrich frolicking with Adam Lambert. (It’s okay. Visualizing that even made me shudder.)
And honestly, anymore, I’d just as soon curl up with a bag of cookies, but I would go along with some sex. But more than wanting to do him, I’d like to teach him Canasta or lure him into some Scrabble and maybe some “Family Guy.”
And I don’t know if I mentioned this, but Connor, the soup-carrying god, has really excellent posture and I often take note of and am impressed with really good posture. So, I think he’d be a really nice…
Oh never mind. Though thin and pale and efficient is good — I mean really good — I should try to look ahead and find someone older or someone with a couple of back surgeries behind him. A person with things of their own that ache and swell (not always in good ways). You know?
I love you people. Please check out www.brizzlesbasket.com — even if you are so sick of me you could puke — and please, please, please tell other folks about it.
2:32 AM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|