Wow, what a roller coaster ride.  The last year or so has been increadibly trying for me.  Every aspect of my life has been tested; health and safety, family and friends, love, financial stability, career, and education.  I've been pushed to the limit, but for some reason, I'm still here.
 
Last summer, I was on top of the world, or so I thought.  I made friends everywhere I went.  My birthday was one of the best ever.  So many people came out to celebrate it with me, and for the first time in a while, I had a boyfriend by my side, sharing the enjoyment with me.  I was also getting good grades in school.  The good times however, didn't last long.

My attitude and over-all well being began to deteriorate.  I was often tired and lacking desire to spend time with my friends.  In September I hit an all-time low, as I was confined to my death bed.  I ran away and disappeared from everyone that was in my immediate social circle.  I was ashamed of my falling out and hid myself from the public.  I was week.  For the first time in ten years, I found myself regressing to my childhood days, finding comfort in my mother's nest.  It was hard, after years of independance, returning to my mother's home as a 28 year old man saying "I need help".  No doubt, it was also a very humbling experience.  The next three months, I spent building up my strength and character, so that I could once again face the world as a new person.

Slowly, I began to step out into the light of day, a light that no longer burned the life out of me, but radiated a new and posotive spirit in me.  I refused to continue to hide in the shadows.  I began meeting people again and sharing my story of survival to anyone who would listen.  Meanwhile I continued to fight opposition from those who saught to deter me from my path.  I made several attempts to form intimate relationships again.  Each one failed me in one way or another, but I was confident in my future.  I also had the chance to visit my half sister in Kansas City, who I hadn't seen in over ten years.  The spring came and I was whole again.  I returned to Tallahassee where my friends awaited me with open arms.

Today, I am happy with myself again.  I am confident and comfortable in my own skin.  I'm back where I need to be, back on my own, healthy, safe, and on track with my education.  My home life is great.  I get along well with my roommates, and enjoy the regular parade of people who visit our home, and now I add to my list of friends.

While I'm comfortable with the current state of things, I'm well aware that my challenges are not over.  Friends move on.  They always have, and always will, and so must I.  In this years time, while I've dealt with my own issues, some friends have gotten married, some have had babies, some have moved to different places, some have started new jobs, and some are getting ready to graduate.  As for myself, I have four more classes to take before finishing my A.A. degree.  After that, only God knows what's next.  Maybe I'll finish my bachelor's degree at FSU.  Maybe, I'll start my own business.  Maybe I'll fall in love half way across the world.  All I know is that there's a reason why I'm still alive, so I'll continue pushing forward.