My mother is really something special. She has her pros, and she most certainly has her cons. But I do have to say that she is a rather generous woman. Over the years, the woman has paid for my cars, my clothes, my college, my court costs....and believe me, I am not cheap! She really does give me a lot, that I can not complain about.
She has also given me some pretty cool non-monetary gifts, like a lack of a filter, not giving a fuck what others think about me, and a penchant for downers. One of the gifts that I have received from this very kind woman was the wonders of MIGRAINE HEADACHES.
What is a Migraine Headache, you may ask? According to WebMD (hypocondriacs should stay away!) Migraines are painful, sometimes debilitating headaches often accompanied by nausea, vomiting, and sensitivity to light, noise, and smell. These throbbing headaches usually occur on only one side of the head, although the pain can shift from one side of the head to the other, or can occur on both sides simultaneously. Migraines seem to develop from overactive electrical impulses in the brain that increase blood flow and cause widening (dilation) of blood vessels and inflammation. This activates pain signals and other symptoms, such as nausea. The more inflammation there is, the more intense the migraine. Lucky for me today's inflammation seems to be restricted, so I am not in that much pain. But that may also have something to do with the fact that I have had this fucker since Saturday night.
How do Migraine Headaches differ from Regular Headaches? You may also ask... A regular headache is like riding your bike into a parked car. You get a little shook up, you may have some cuts and scrapes, you brush your self off, then you get right back on your bike and ride home to tell whatever dumb-ass roommate decided to live with you what an idiot you are for riding your bike into a parked car. You both laugh about it and then walk (not ride) to the bar to get plastered and loudly tell your story to the local drunks who are drinking at 2 in the afternoon with you.
A MIGRAINE HEADACHE is like driving 90 miles an hour and then SLAMMING straight on into a big ass Pathmark truck that has about 16 big ass wheels on it. You hit the truck right in the gas tank, so your car blows to smithereens and bits and pieces of your body go flying through the air. If someone is brave enough to walk through the inferno and capture your brain to store for later use, you wait in misery for someone to end your horror struck thoughts that revolve solely around getting hit and smashed to bits by a truck.
Today I have a FUCKING MIGRAINE, that won't go away since SATURDAY, and I can't take any Migraine meds because they are more debilitating than the headaches themselves. So, before I go find a safe place to take a nap while at work, I bitch to you and impart some knowledge on how I feel. And, oh yeah, THANKS MOM!