There were too many events randomly popping out like mushrooms in a big black forest.  My girlfriend broke up with me after dating for a year.  My mom passed away 2 weeks ago from breast cancer.  No, she passed away 3 weeks ago.  I wondered if things could get any worse.

    My father left us when I was 8 years old.  My mom said that he ran away with another woman.  I didn't believe her because I found some gay porn magazines hidden in an old battered box in the attic while she was out shopping.  I donated them to Salvation Army as a joke.  I didn't tell her about what I found.  She probably would beat me up for looking at gay porn magazines and tell me not to masturbate in my bedroom even though they were not mine.

    She would still beat me up  if I looked at Hustlers or Penthouse.  Then, she would burn them in front of me and tell me not to masturbate in my bedroom.  She said that every time I masturbate, God would kill a kitty.  I didn't care, I didn't like cats anyway.  She always talked about how I should choose my girlfriend carefully.  She never approved any of the girls I brought home.  She met two of my ex-girlfriends.  My mom would tell me to break up with them during our dinner right in front of them.  My mom claimed that they wouldn't love me like she did.  After that, I stopped bringing any of my girlfriends home, except Miranda, who just broke up with me after my mom passed away.

    My mom and Miranda hit it off right away.  My mom would rather talk to her than talking to me.  One night, I saw them sitting in the hot tub, drinking champagne together naked.  It was a bit odd.  With my new job and heavy work load, I didn't give it too much thought.  Last Christmas, they went shopping together and got me a gift.  It was a very nice Arrow shirt in white with shiny white strips.  It fitted perfect too, just like tailor-made. 

    I met Mai Ling at the hospital's cafeteria.  It didn't seem appropriate to ask her out while my mom was dying on the 5th floor.  But she was being very understanding.  She said that we could go out for some coffee or tea after my mom got better.  My mom didn't get better.  I called and told Mai Ling about the news.  She agreed to go out with me for dinner if that would make me feel better. 

    We picked a Japanese restaurant near the hospital.  It was a lovely little place owned by a Japanese couple.  We ordered our food and had a really nice conversation about her family and my family.  When my plate of sushi and sashimi combo arrived, things started to get a little out of the ordinary. 

    I had too much wasabi on my salmon slice.  My nostrils were on fire and hair on my back stood.  I grabbed my glass of ice water instead of my green tea.  Instead of drinking it, I splashed the whole glass of water on my face.  Mai Ling laughed at what I did and apologized.  At least she didn't find the situation embarrassing and left.  That was a good sign.  My Arrow shirt was all wet and my nipples shrunk.  I picked up my cup of green tea and tried to have a sip.  My right hand seemed to be out of control and my shirt sleeve forced my arm to dump the whole cup of green tea on my crotch.  Fortunately, the cup of green tea was warm, not hot. 

    Mai Ling didn't laugh this time.  She looked worried and concerned because she saw a woman's face on the front of my shirt.  She pulled a compact mirror from her purse and pointed it to my shirt.  It was my mom's image on her mirror.  I paid for our dinner and left the restaurant.  Once we were outside, my collar tightened up and banged my head several times on the lamp post right outside the restaurant.  My mom wanted to embarrass me in front of my date.  I couldn't believe that she was still trying to control my life after she died. 

    Mai Ling stopped a taxi and pushed me inside.  She told the driver to head straight to China Town while tying my hands with my belt.  She then shoved a twenty-dollar bill in the driver's hand and told him not to ask any questions.  She said that we were going to her father's place.  I told her that I wasn't ready to meet her parents yet.  She said that it was only fair since she met my mom already. 

    When we arrived at her father's place, he was watching that movie Peacock King on TV.  Mai Ling introduced us while untying my hands and told him about what happened in the restaurant.  He looked at my Arrow shirt and frowned.  He went to the deity table and grabbed a bottle of rice wine.  He took a big sip of it  and sprayed it on the front of my shirt with his mouth.  Then, he took a sword off the wall which was made out of coins and red threads.  He produced a piece of yellow paper with strange Chinese writing on it from his pocket and stuck it on my chest pocket while mumbling in Chinese.  Mai Ling at the mean time moved the chairs and table against the wall.  Her father swung that sword in front of me with fluid motions.  Then, he pointed his sword at my mom's face and my shirt flew off my body like a kite.  It landed right in front of her father's right foot and he stepped right on it.  My Arrow shirt was struggling like a fish landed on the ground.  Mai Ling scoped up the shirt with a burnt metal container and set the shirt on fire with a match.  Her father put some hell money in the container so that my mom could use it on the way to hell. 

    Mai Ling and I became very close after that.