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Humble B. Wonderful



Last Updated: 9/6/2009

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October 31, 2007 - Wednesday 

Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Let's face it, that whole blogging thing was going nowhere.  It's for chumps and for nerds to get in pretend fights, say not-so-awful things, and then backpedal so as to assuage baby feelings and never stand by anything they ever said. The rest is just advertising and fatties saying what they had for lunch. That's not what I want people to think about when they mention the glorious name Humblina B. Wunderfulski (I had it changed because I was ashamed of being Jewish*). So after many long months of soul searching, I've decided to reinvent myself as a puzzle maven.

Humble B. Wonderful, Puzzle Maven. Yes, that's what all the young hipsters are going to call me. A title of which I can finally be proud. So, to kick things off, here's the first puzzle in a series of sixty-two (one a month, so it fits):

1. Ghost Chimp Cow Aft Cost Fit Ace Fops Bow Foxy Ax Gilt Jip Gin Bet Gist Dip Him Dot Hip Not Hit Hops Cloy Alp Art Cop Chow Dint Lop Guy Lops Lot Dent Emu Dewy Most Alms Bow    

2. Best Lost Low Got Chop Bit Aces Lox Mops Fin Bint Now Opt Tux Dins Chops Clot Abe Gimp Act Copy Cot Den My Deft, Dirty Fist Bent Horsy Hew Elm Mow Fens Filmy How Jot Ago Beg Bin Dims Box Chips Clop Dirt

Solve the secret meaning and win the prize! There are hundreds for me to choose! Here's a hint, if you're struggling: "Sponged."

 

*Funnily enough, it turns out I'm not Jewish. What's more, I never was.

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Albert, simply put

 
Wow, it's been awhile -- but if you do want to write about what sandwich you had for lunch, I'll gladly read it... ;)
 
Posted by Albert, simply put on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:13 PM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
You know, my distant ancestor Reuben Panini invented the sandwich. That's why come I'm so rich: royalties. I get a pickle every time someone eats one.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 4:03 AM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
No, he invented the first sandwich. All other sandwiches descend from his original "openface" design.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 2, 2007 - Friday - 4:52 AM
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James

 
Someone gifted you a puzzle book, didn't they?
 
Posted by James on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:13 PM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
No way! I made it myself with my own two brains.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:22 PM
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Verminclature
Devin Thomas

 
I love it when people say, "that's why come"....

Without a blog, and being Halloween, how do we know you're not an imposter?

...I LOVE non-jewish Puzzle Mavens, that's why come I came here!
 
Posted by Verminclature on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:38 PM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
I love it or don't when people respond to the wrong comment. It pleases or offends my sense of organization.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:45 PM
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a scientist

 
It's alive! Or back from the dead? Time to celebrate! And look for any brain cells that remain...

PS. Just what ARE kudos?
 
Posted by a scientist on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:42 PM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
They're greek.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:43 PM
[Reply to this
James

 
I love Greek. I will have an order of kudos and a side of calamari... in a almost-but-not-quite-Jewish sandwich (royalties pending).
 
Posted by James on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:49 PM
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True D

 
what a wonderful (humble of course) birthday surprise! i'm way too busy to solve the puzzle right now (gotta take kids trick or treating and then go trick or drinking) but it's great to have you back..........and i never cared much for myspace drama, so no love lost...

you're still humble b. wonderful, funniest blogs i ever came across on myspace to me:)

happy halloween--the NOT jewish holiday!

true D
 
Posted by True D on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:47 PM
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Jeremy Byington
Jeremy Byington

 
True D looks...um...pretty good for her age.
 
Posted by Jeremy Byington on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:53 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Never interrupt me!
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:31 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Finally, one for the gentiles.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:52 PM
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Jeremy Byington
Jeremy Byington

 
I don't know what the puzzle means, but I can think of a million ways to use "Dirty Fist Bent Horsy Hew."
 
Posted by Jeremy Byington on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:52 PM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
I have a response for you, but I don't want to give anything away.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:53 PM
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Dunkwon

 
As not to get in a pretend fight, say not-so-awful things, and then backpedal so as to assuage baby feelings and never stand by anything I ever said, I simply ask: is this two puzzles or one? Or is it following some kind of puzzlers protocol of which I have no knowledge?

Welcome Back H.B. Wonderful.

Happy Halloween!!!!
 
Posted by Dunkwon on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:56 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
What, I'm supposed to do your work for you?
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:29 AM
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Dunkwon

 
Well, no. It'd be nice if you could at least help the non-pedantic population out though, by possiblly extending a further clue as to what the format is besides the vague "Sponged" hint.
 
Posted by Dunkwon on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 7:15 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Here's a hint: You have all the information you need to solve the puzzle, but that does not mean it can't be made easier.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 7:42 PM
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it's mE!

 
wow. so that explains it... i thought maybe you were kidnapped or something.
 
Posted by it's mE! on October 31, 2007 - Wednesday - 11:59 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Oh, I was. Lovely people, really. Completely misunderstood.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:30 AM
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Captain Avenger

 
Too simple Humble! The Jewish reference makes the Lox stand-out.

The whole thing smells fishy to me.
 
Posted by Captain Avenger on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:02 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Must be your upper lip.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:30 AM
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Captain Avenger

 
You give this unemployed and balding man too much credit.
 
Posted by Captain Avenger on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:48 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
No, I don't. I think you go down on dolphins.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:01 AM
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Aaaaaaron
Aaron Dietz

 
Hey, there's nothing wrong with that.
 
Posted by Aaaaaaron on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:14 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Yes there is; he could drown.

No, wait, I see your point.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:28 AM
[Reply to this
Adam

 
You may chose to make light of it, but being as he was actually thrown out of SeaWorld, for raping a dolphin through it's blow-hole, I think this is all in pretty poor taste.
Or at least it would be, if he wasn't Jewish.
 
Posted by Adam on November 5, 2007 - Monday - 4:52 PM
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Ryan Aaron
Ryan Aaron

 
You're not a Jewish?! Puzzling... that big ugly nose must be a sign of your german heritage!

Settle down, I'm only kidding!

I have a novel coming out soon. You should read it!

I had a burrito for lunch.

1. bobbed
2. squared panteds

Gimme a prize. I've earned it.
 
Posted by Ryan Aaron on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:12 AM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
I'm not a big reader; my big, ugly nose gets in the way.

1. Almost, but very wrong.
2. Not even close.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:50 AM
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...and then there was Mapes

 
so i'm sitting here, contemplative, trying to decipher the mysterious wonders that are hidden in your puzzle...and i can't help but notice that my neighbors are blasting aerosmith. aerosmith. really? who listens to this? now all i can think about is who else out there is secretly an aerosmith listener? moreover, i'm pondering whether there is a way that we can mark them so that we know whom is or is not a fan of this terrible music? perhaps they could wear some sort of symbol or letter on their clothing.... maybe pressure them to move into the same area of town. i dunno - just brainstorming here.
 
Posted by ...and then there was Mapes on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:18 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Don't they all already live in trailer parks?
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:28 AM
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...and then there was Mapes

 
but what stops them from using the same public restrooms or sending their kids to our public schools. well i guess the latter only applies to smelly poor people, but you get the general idea.
 
Posted by ...and then there was Mapes on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:37 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
A) Aerosmith listeners just shit wherever like horses.

B) They can't really tell time, so they miss the bus a lot.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:49 AM
[Reply to this
...and then there was Mapes

 
i heard that if one mates with a normal human, its offspring is sterile like a mule...and listens to glen danzig
 
Posted by ...and then there was Mapes on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 2:40 AM
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Ronstoppable RLC

 
Humble's back! Humble's back! It's the bestest Halloween ever!

I'm not even going to take a crack at that puzzle, though, even if it is two puzzles. It's not because I can't figure it out, though I can't, but because I'm a lazy, lazy man.

Welcome back! Now, don't ever go away again.
 
Posted by Ronstoppable RLC on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:36 AM
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bravemouth

 
The secret meaning IS
 
Posted by bravemouth on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:39 AM
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Dillon

 
The puzzle is "Which of these things does not belong."

The answer is: the comma.

I am a genious.

Good to see you again!
 
Posted by Dillon on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:42 AM
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Dillon

 
Exactly... that's the conclusion that most would come to. A true genious sees the simplest answer as the correct one.

Don't worry, though... I had to endure years as an idiot to get where I am today.
 
Posted by Dillon on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 12:58 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Stop interrupting me! You're throwing off my droll delivery.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:08 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Yes, it takes an idiot to be a "genious."
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:00 AM
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Roth Wriscey writes blogs you will enjoy very much

 
I had a girlfriend who once refused to play "Trivial Pursuit: Genus V," because "it's not gonna be any fun to play at "genius level five.
"

She wasn't very smart. But she was good at getting naked. I should call her. She made me feel like a "genious.
"

What do you think she's doing right now? I bet she's carefully re-reading a soup can or something.

 
Posted by Roth Wriscey writes blogs you will enjoy very much on September 8, 2008 - Monday - 4:20 AM
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Vincent Truman
Vincent Truman

 
First!!!



....oh shit.
 
Posted by Vincent Truman on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:07 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Close enough. I'll put you down as first in the official record books that matter and are really important.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:09 AM
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Aaaaaaron
Aaron Dietz

 
Right up there with Roger Maris!*









* Roger Maris is not actually in the history books anymore.
 
Posted by Aaaaaaron on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:16 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Of course not; he's Jewish.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:30 AM
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Vincent Truman
Vincent Truman

 
He never happened, man.
 
Posted by Vincent Truman on November 2, 2007 - Friday - 9:41 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
You ruin everything.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:12 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Go hence your mother.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on November 1, 2007 - Thursday - 1:29 AM
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