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Humble B. Wonderful



Last Updated: 9/6/2009

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January 21, 2009 - Wednesday 

Hooray! The writers' strike is over! We sure stuck it to those fat-cat studio heads with their silly monocles, top hats and pocket watches. My friend just told me today. This feels great. Like, really great. It’s probably the greatest moment in anyone’s life.  The end of the strike may come as no shock to you, ‘cause my friend told me it’s been over for a while now, like a week or something, but how was I to know? I’ve been boycotting those filthy scabs in the news who were scabbing it up writing scab news stories for greedy corporate newspapers and TV stations. Never let it be said that Humble B. crosses picket lines.

Union strong!

Not that I’m in the WGA or anything, but I felt it was important for bloggers to stand with the far more talented writers in the WGA as a show of solidarity. Now the people who truly make all the great shows about sexual tension among grizzled police investigators, the shows about sexual tension among young doctors and the shows about sexual tension among wise-cracking, yet dedicated, lawyers, will finally get what they deserve: internet royalties.

Anyway, the point is that I can finally get back to blogging, my one true passion.  Why? Because Humble loves you. It’s been really hard not having an outlet for all the cool, funny things I thought of while the strike was on, but I did it. And while I’m proud of my accomplishment, I really missed talking to you guys. So, to celebrate, I’m going to do a great, big ol’ free-form improv blog about the hot-button issues of the day, sure to delight, amuse and maybe, just maybe, get you thinking a little, too. Let’s get rocking!    

Holy crap, there’s a black guy president*.

Jesus, I turn my back for a year and a half and this is what happens? Black guy becomes leader of the free world?  That’s fucking huge. Why didn’t anyone tell me?

I’m sorry, but I’m going to need some time to process this. Maybe a long time.

I’ll see you around.     


-Hizzle to the Bazizzle to the Won-der-fizzle


*More like “Pres-o-dent.” Ha ha! No, that’s racist. I didn’t mean it.

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Jim_Maverick

 
It's good to have you back. :)
 
Posted by Jim_Maverick on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 3:52 AM
[Reply to this
The Exquisite DomMega...
Dom Lacerenza

 
Ms. Wonderful used the oppression of others creativity and capitalist mindset to suppress and acknowledge a strike she wasn't even a part of, just to be supportive. If I ever decide to return to L.A. I will buy you large quantities of alcohol or a new keyboard for continuing your ongoing effort of free thinking and furthering your myspace political agenda.....<3
 
Posted by The Exquisite DomMega... on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 3:53 AM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
And I will drink that alcohol. Because I have a serious problem.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:01 AM
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Dunkwon

 
All the more reason to love such a beautiful and exquisite living paradigm of what I look for in a blogger!!! ..Welcome Back!!!
 
Posted by Dunkwon on February 10, 2009 - Tuesday - 12:16 AM
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glyphic
Phillip Cheung

 
Welcome back!
 
Posted by glyphic on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:05 AM
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POWER WAGONS
SHANE TILLMAN

 
?
 
Posted by POWER WAGONS on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:07 AM
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Aaaaaaron
Aaron Dietz

 
A very poignant comment by POWER WAGONS. It's as if a question was asked, and yet, we don't know what it was. And there is this sort of lingering questioning feeling, looking all questiony in the questioningy moonlight.
 
Posted by Aaaaaaron on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:33 AM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
!
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:35 AM
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Aaaaaaron
Aaron Dietz

 
See? I got someone excited over the Internet. See how dangerous and arousing the Internet is? Have you all witnessed the allure and eventual reason for its imminent destruction? Huh? Huh?....Moral lesson: Don't run out of lube.
 
Posted by Aaaaaaron on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 5:31 AM
[Reply to this
Humble B. Wonderful

 
;
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:34 AM
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Vincent Truman
Vincent Truman

 
oh dear
 
Posted by Vincent Truman on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:08 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Yup.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:25 AM
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Vincent Truman
Vincent Truman

 
Muh god. Does this mean, as part of your re-emergence, you'll be putting a picture that isn't already five years old? Am I dreaming too big?....:)
 
Posted by Vincent Truman on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 2:25 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
A bit, where "a bit" is equal to "completely."
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 2:15 AM
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Vincent Truman
Vincent Truman

 
No worries. I still find you amusing, buddy.
 
Posted by Vincent Truman on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 3:31 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Well, that's what really matters. That's what I like about you; you focus on what counts in this life. It's the kind of wisdom that comes from having travelled down the road and back again. Because your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant. And I'm not ashamed to say that I hope it will stay this way. I mean, my hat is off, so won't you stand up and take a bow? Because if you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see that the biggest gift was from me, and the card would say "Thank you for being a friend."
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 3:47 AM
[Reply to this
DT™

 
Thank you very much HumbleB. Now I can't get the Friend's Theme Song out of my head.
 
Posted by DT™ on January 23, 2009 - Friday - 12:32 AM
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Alexander

 
I'll be Dreyfus!
 
Posted by Alexander on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 10:37 AM
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medddddllleeeee

 
you don't seem like a racist!!! your way to cute!
 
Posted by medddddllleeeee on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:11 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
That's what I hate about your kind: typos.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:17 AM
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Back to KANGASISTAN
John Kangas

 
Tomorrow I go to prison for a spell, just wonder if things would have been different had you not dropped out like that. If you feel bad at all, give the prison a call (360) 753-8417 Cheers
 
Posted by Back to KANGASISTAN on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:13 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Given my influence, you could have ended up going to prison for even longer. So how about a thank you? I think I deserve it.....Remember, when you get to prison, say you're Jewish. That way they have to give you kosher food, which is way better than the regular slop.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:22 AM
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Back to KANGASISTAN
John Kangas

 
Holly crap, thank you so much for calling my parol officer, i'm back on the street. I lost my job and home but still have my 1972 dodge van that I like to call home. I will be driving it from Olympia Wa. to Baltimore running on this crazy hydrogen generator I built. Will have live satelite internet on the trip. Will keep you posted. Thanks again, I was only raped once.
 
Posted by Back to KANGASISTAN on February 2, 2009 - Monday - 10:47 PM
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Dunbar

 
Hey you're back! We knew you didn't mean it baby...you just get angry when you drink...we shouldn't have mouthed off the way we did.
 
Posted by Dunbar on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 4:57 AM
[Reply to this
Pfitz
Pfitz Her

 
I believe "biracial" or "African American" is a bit more PC. But then again, the still have the United Negro College fund for those of "color."
 
Posted by Pfitz on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 5:01 AM
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Captain Avenger

 
This may be a poor time to mention it, but the actors are threatening to strike.
 
Posted by Captain Avenger on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 5:19 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Who cares about those faggots? Other faggots probably. But not me, because I like to read CSI teleplays and let my imagination run wild.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:09 AM
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Captain Avenger

 
Please don't tell me you're a Caruso fan!
 
Posted by Captain Avenger on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:13 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Did you not get the part where I insinuated that actors, and I loosely and undeservedly group Caruso under this category, are unnecessary to the process?
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:32 AM
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Cptn. Luke Scruffybeard
Luke Longbeard

 
Even if, the lead in your mind is still taking off his sunglasses as he spits one-liners and throwing back his jacket as he places his hand on his hip and pivots to the side... 
 
Posted by Cptn. Luke Scruffybeard on May 10, 2009 - Sunday - 7:31 PM
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Captain Avenger

 
No, I'm male, you have to be very specific.
 
Posted by Captain Avenger on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 8:41 AM
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Ryan Aaron
Ryan Aaron

 
Yeah, a year and a half - coincidentally, the race for president took about a year and a half. Writer's strike? Writer's strike? Ah, that's where you've been! You were scabbing, weren't you?
 
Posted by Ryan Aaron on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 5:32 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Don't you ever say that about anyone. A scab is the worst thing you can a call a covering of dried blood, serum, and fibroblasts.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:26 AM
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Ryan Aaron
Ryan Aaron

 
No, of course I shouldn't ever say that about anyone. You're right. Thank you for pointing that out. I owe you a debt of gratitude for this insight. In fact, I will catch myself next time I think of saying that about someone and instead think of you and say "incrustation of dried discharge" or some other variation on the verb tense. It has a nicer ring to it, does it not?
 
Posted by Ryan Aaron on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 7:06 AM
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Adam

 
This is all just too emotional for me, right now..... I'll be back when I'm less teary.
 
Posted by Adam on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 6:45 AM
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BARTLETT IS MY HERO!!!

 
Disbelief....
 
Posted by BARTLETT IS MY HERO!!! on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 7:17 AM
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Buku Bamboo

 
Welcome back....I was just about to give up on you and then.....like magic, you appear out of nowhere to prove all of the nay sayers wrong and show us all that you didn't overdose on Frosted Flakes like all of the rumors say that you did.
 
Posted by Buku Bamboo on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 8:43 AM
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Ronnie

 
That was the longest strike ever...
 
Posted by Ronnie on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 8:57 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
It's what had to be done in the name of above-level brotherhood.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 2:16 AM
[Reply to this
Fun to Play with and Not to Eat...

 
You don't need hide it. Strike or not, We know you've failed in the real world. That's why you've come back. Welcome though! Us Losers have missed you.
 
Posted by Fun to Play with and Not to Eat... on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 10:07 AM
[Reply to this
Dec
Declan Clarke

 
You took your fucking time!
 
Posted by Dec on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 10:15 AM
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Chef Mike™

 
I knew the reports of your untimely death were unfounded...glad to know you're still amongst the living. Missed your beautiful sense of cynicism.
 
Posted by Chef Mike™ on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 10:45 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
I find that unlikely as I am an optimist and not a cynic.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 2:18 AM
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DT™

 
I certainly hope you did something constructive while you were gone like working on your tan.
 
Posted by DT™ on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 11:14 AM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Never! Sunbathing ages you terribly. Also, the normal passage of time.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 3:36 AM
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ted
ted unitedone

 
I waited 13 months,3 days,2 hours,5 minutes and 2 seconds for this?(give or take) hmmm.. ..can i get a refund? i'm just saying...
 
Posted by ted on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 12:17 PM
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Humble B. Wonderful

 
Yes. In fact I'll give you double.
 
Posted by Humble B. Wonderful on January 22, 2009 - Thursday - 2:19 AM
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Ronstoppable RLC

 
Welcome back! I've been destitute... no, that's not right. I've been moping... uh-uh. Mopping? Hardly! Moving on with my life, quietly keeping my personal anguish clutched to my chest, using my sorrow to keep me warm at night? No, that's not quite right either. Well, this much is true - it's good to read your stuff again! I certainly hope more will be along soon.
 
Posted by Ronstoppable RLC on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 12:34 PM
[Reply to this
The Rocketman

 
And blissful, intelligent irrelevance reigns again . . .
 
Posted by The Rocketman on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 1:03 PM
[Reply to this
Dillon

 
Oh, also... scientists have decided the world really is flat after all. As I think of more things that you may have missed, I'll keep you posted.
 
Posted by Dillon on January 21, 2009 - Wednesday - 1:39 PM
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