LP:
Let's talk about the most disturbing part of this record right off the bat. Grab the insert and take a look down at the bottom. Down in the thank you list, hidden towards the end: D.FERDUCCI (R.I.P). WHAT?! Ferducci passed away? How does a rock impresario such as he slip off this mortal coil with nary a whimper? Why was I not informed? Where do I send flowers? It's a loss to the budget rock community that can't be overstated. How did this happen? Who's next? JP Gutrock? Col. Brain? Ricardo Fumar? Dickie Jaws? Fuck me. I hope Melvin Dundinkle is handling it well. I worry about that guy...
So anyway, I've flip-flopped on this record. Done a lot of thinking about it. My initial reaction, after the Boom Boom single hit the shelves, was that this was a funny project. Lortz pulled another one over on us. He's playing folk music. HA! YOU GOT ME! I figured it was a good joke for a single, and on to the next idea. But then there was an LP. And another single. And tours. And a signing to a sub-major label. Waittaminute here...they're serious about this shit? I figured there was absolutely no way this was going to hold up. A whole LP of Dutchess & The Duke was bound to stink. So I remained stand-offish. I didn't want to give this thing a chance. I was kinda mad about it. I want more Fe Fi Fo Fums. I want to fuck new wave some more. I'd listen to this LP once in a while, actually trying not to like it. Which I found impossible. Let's face it, these songs are so fucking well written it's ridiculous. I've had every single song on this record except one stuck in my head for multiple days this year. Who knew? Who knew that some of the most emotionally resonant, some of the most substantial and fulfilling listening I've done all year has come from the people who also brought us some of the greatest no-fi shitfests of recent memory as well. The heartfelt depth on these cuts is remarkable. Dejection, fear, hate, heartbreak, love, loss, happiness...the emotional gamut is fucking run here, and run fucking well. Lyrically, musically, there are few flaws to be found. The guitar interplay, the vocal harmonies, the minimal percussion, the handclaps...the moments of dark melancholia, the uplifting moments of tenderness...it's remarkable in its depth. It's a record that actually means something. It's about friendship, it's about real life, it's about loving and losing and living. Songs about actual human experience. Who woulda thunk? It takes guts to write and sing these songs. I thank them for doing it. And I think it's great they close with "Armageddon Song", a near goofy campfire sing-a-long I think puts good punctuation on a record that delves deep into some sad moments. Everything's gonna be alright. No matter how tough or cool we all think we are, I think that's what we all want to hear, as fucking gay as that sounds. I said it. One of the best records any of you will buy this year. And if you're not at least slightly touched by even some of it, well, you're obviously too cool to be listening to it.(RK)
(Hardly Art // www.hardlyart.com)

Dutchess & The Duke "Never Had A Chance" 7" HOZAC
D&D whip up a couple more soon-to-be standards on this platter, but I think they got the A and B sides reversed. "Never Had A Chance" is a good song, replete with their typically well-crafted lyrics and harmonies and that certainly catchy guitar part. But "Scorpio" is one of their best, summoning deep-seated emotional wreckage much like "I Am Just A Ghost" off the LP and one of the most melancholy solos you'll hear these days. There's also the ominous lyrical mentions of Scorpios and serpent's heads and vocal harmonies that will peer into your soul. Sometimes it's too much for me to listen to. That's how I know it's great fucking song. Scum stats: 150 gold editions with lo-fi interpretation of the stunning regular sleeve art.(RK