out of respect, i hadn't posted or even announced online that i quit the spankers last year as to not hurt their business.  i also didn't print the details leading up to it.  i'm sure they said some pretty lousy stuff about me, and i probably did for a while too.  below is a blog wammo wrote, followed by my response.  i'm leaving out only the parts of my quitting that he doesn't mention, because it's none of your business.  but, to get the story strait, here goes:

wammo wrote:

SICKENING

Somebody came up to Christina and told her that you were going around Kerrville telling folks that you were fired from the band for punching me in the face. Now, I know that people sometimes get stories backwards but everyone who has repeated your side of the story to me has yet to tell a version that was remotely accurate. I was going to keep it all to myself and never write about it publicly but I'm sick of receiving false versions of our little tale. So for the record, here goes.

I forgave you a long time ago. Now I just feel sorry for you.

You are not the first ex-band member to have a beef but you are the first band member to make a premeditated effort to hurt us. Your calculated decision to maliciously wait throughout an entire month and quit with no replacement, forewarning, giving notice or even telling anyone something was wrong, was an unconscionable act that deeply hurt every member of our band. You came to rehearsals and local gigs, acted friendly as if everything was just fine. All the while, smiling with the knife behind you, waiting until the moment we had just finished loading the vans. Ready to leave for a long tour. Then you stuck it in and turned it sideways. Even though you had ample time to talk with me when I picked you up and gave you rides to all those rehearsals, you never said a word. Instead, you waited like a spider for the precise moment you would do the most damage. You fucked over the whole band. A band that swept you up from podunk roots and helped you to display your talents all over the world.

This puzzles me because you and I became good friends, who shared what I thought was mutual respect. I know we're both bull-headed at times. We both grew up with two little brothers, so we know the stubborn big brother dynamic. Sure, we had our stand offs but there was always a feeling of family to our relationship. Maybe because I'm almost 20 years your senior, I was supposed to cut you slack and give you leeway. I felt that I did exactly that in many situations but in this "act of violence" you wrote about after you quit, there was no room for slack. You purposefully struck me in the testicles and I retaliated by punching you in the mouth. The ridiculous part is that I announced that my testicles were sore from bouncing down the highway, you said "Oh yeah?" and deliberately struck out to cause me pain. How can you be so cavalier and obtuse as to think that I wouldn't strike you after you hit me in the nuts? And how did I strike you? I gave you one shot in the mouth. I didn't hit you hard enough to break your jaw, knock your teeth out or even give you a fat lip, all I did was give you a knee-jerk reaction to your initial act of violence. I popped you to get you away from me. The only thing I hurt was your pride.

After I punched you and you stormed off, what did I do? I left the party and ran through the Tokyo streets to find you and apologize. And although you never apologized for racking me, I didn't just say I was sorry, I offered you a free punch to my face with no defense. You responded by dropping your fist and hugging me. I cried on your shoulder. I wept and told you about the painful situations in my life. I openly and honestly confided in you. Remember? We were drunk as fish but we kept drinking and talking and trying to work shit out. That's what friends do and I thought we were friends. Shit, I thought the whole band was friends with you. You fucked us, plain and simple. Nothing can change the fact that you did it deviously with much malice and forethought. That's what saddens me the most. That you would go out of your way to fuck over people who believed in you and accepted you as family. We took care of you. We advanced you cash whenever you needed it. Gave you rides when you had no car. When you accidentally dropped your fiddle, smashing it on stage, who leant you the money to buy a new one? How did you pay us back?

You're just a misguided kid with a huge chip on his shoulder. In the past, I watched you rework stories to make yourself look innocent. You have a tough time taking responsibility for anything you may have done wrong. I wish you would learn how to forgive, even to forgive yourself. I wish I had taught you. Sometimes you never know what someone needs unless they ask for it. If they don't, you usually find out when it's too late. I wish I could spare you the professional embarrassment you've experienced because of these foolish gestures. I hope it hasn't bled into your personal life. I'm asking you to be a man and start telling the truth about your leaving the band. There's no reason to be a sniveling, little whiner the rest of your life. You have it in you to be a stand up guy. Do it. We all make mistakes. You are a fucking musical genius. Now grow up and put some integrity behind your talent.

sick wrote:

i think we need to talk about it over a beer, not get people picking sides as to who did what.  i stopped giving people details a long time ago.  i usually just said i got hit, so i quit without notice, and the whole thing was unprofessional on both our parts.  really, the biggest problem i had with the situation was when i realized jon hadn't heard about the incedent in the 2 weeks of daily phone calls with christina, and when he found out about it from me, he basically responded "what can you do?  that's wammo...".  i shook his hand the other day, and now that i don't do business with you guys, i have no animosity or grudges.

i hope you leave this response up, if only to show a 2 sided story.  yes we were drunk in hiroshima at a restaurant.  we were goofing around, picking on each other, dropping each others chopsticks on the ground and what not.  always one-upping each other, until you slug my arm and i wand back to hit your leg, a charlie horse.  you put a hand over your crotch and say "don't hit my nuts".  not that the thought had ever crossed my mind, and yes i'm guilty of crossing a line here, but i reached down and slapped your knuckles.  your hand hit your crotch, then it hit my face.

i guess what i'm saying is, we were just goofing around, and in a split moment, it turned outwardly violent.  i am not violent.  my pride was very hurt.  and not the first time.  no, the company didn't loan me money for a new fiddle, i borrowed from my girlfriend's family.  the day after that incedent with the fiddle, we were in buffalo, and a similar altercation happened, involving a walking stick and my wrist.  remember? 

i don't want to type this stuff.  there's a lack of tone of voice or something.  after japan, i stayed in the band long enough to set up some dominoes, make sure i could support myself.  i had talked about leaving the band twice before, i think both in the last year.  every time i did, jon would sit me down, give me a small raise, offer me studio time which was always pushed back, and get me to stay another six months before i wanted to leave again. 

it was in more than a few ways like being in an abusive romantic relationship, where feelings would get the best of me and i wouldn't take care of my best interests.  so, metaphorically, i packed my bags and split in the night.  and that time, everybody knew i was not negotiating.

i broke off with the spankers once and for all.  it hurt you, it hurt me, it hurt everybody.  and since jon threatened to sue me if i announced i had left, the story was spoken, never printed, and people change major details.  i'm sorry i hurt your nuts.  i'm sorry i was afraid to give notice.  i'm sorry it left you hanging.  but i'm also very happy and working more now than ever before. 

dude, just call me and get over it.  i'm actually in the same part of the country as you right now, if you wanna meet up with rick and al they'd probably cream their shorts.  and, i think i'm going to post both of these stories on my blog, since people all too often ask me what happened.  truth is, shit happened.  we had too much in common for either of us to be the other's boss.  the spankers are still a great band, and when anyone, jokingly or otherwise, told me they wouldn't go see you guys, i reminded them that most bands suck, and you guys don't.  like i said, i've got the first round whenever you're thirsty.

later,
sick