Hi friends,
It's been quite a long time since I've written here. What happened? I guess it's partly technological- I've swung over to using twitter, youtube, google reader and del.icio.us and having facebook collect the summary of my web travels rather than posting here.
But I've been changing as well. I still enjoy sharing cool things through the above tools. "Cool things" were some of my blog posts. Many of my other blog posts- the original content blog posts- were coming from an angry place- a place frustrated with the state of the world, the people in it, and my powerlessness in it all.
I don't think I even knew I was angry. The first time I said "I feel angry" was about two years ago, and it felt so good to recognise that and say it out loud to someone! I've been on a journey to get more in touch with my feelings ever since. I find my certainty in what I *know* has been declining as I learn to appreciate other people's points of view. I've been busy getting to know myself in new ways, and I find that I don't have much to say in the meantime. In many ways you'll find that I'm still the same ole guy, but in others you'll find that I'm quite different.
I'm not quite sure where I'm going with all of this. Let's just say that I didn't want the myspace chapter of my life to have a dangling ending. Nor do I want dangling endings with any of you. A danger for me is to feel connected to you just because I see your photos and stories flow by in my facebook news stream. And while I enjoy that, I'm not sure how much
heart there is in that.
In this chapter of my life I am seeking a lot more heart. Falk once told me that I was in my head too much. I at once knew exactly what he was talking about and had no idea what he was talking about. "Duh, of course I'm in my head! Where else would I be?" I had no idea that
heart-felt, heartwarming, open hearted and the like were anything more than metaphors. Now I do know differently, and I know that my consciousness can be
in my heart- which is the most amazing of all! That is where things feel alive, and that is where I want to be as much as possible! I'm thankful for the
amazing people that have been helping me. Who knew that Christian Priests would smash up the
best of what I had learned from the tech world with the most I had hoped for for my spiritual life!
Dear friends, I hope your lifes' journies are deep and quenching, and I hope for the day where we smile at each other soul to soul.
In the meantime: