Sometimes the life you dream of doesn't exactly work out the way you want it to. Sometimes you have to compromise. And a lot of times your life depends so heavily on others that absolutely nothing will go the way you planned. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it just means that you have to be happy in a way you hadn't expected.

Of course this lovely little intro is leading up to Chris and I. Remember, he's moving to England. May 19th is the magic day. The day when the only guy I've ever really liked and (dare I say it?) loved, will leave and move to England. For a year minimum. Then maybe he'll come back to Canada, or maybe he'll go somewhere else. And if he does come back, who's to say that he'll want to be with me again? A year isn't really that long when you think about it. If he came back I would wait for him. If he wanted me to, I would go with him, in an instant.

But going with him would mess up my plans to move out this summer, and screw it up for Kevin too. But also he may be staying longer since the guy hes going with had to spend most of his savings on fixing his car. Then he won't have a place to live anymore since his lease is up. Maybe I'll live with him for a few months then?

Or what if Kevin gets that job and wont be able to be my roommate until next year? I don't really want to live in this house any longer. So where would I go? Would I move in with Amanda for a while? I don't really want to. Or should I find another roommate to live with for a year until he comes around? I don't know very many people. Maybe one of Chris' friends needs a place too?

But before all that, I need to get a full-time job, either at Zellers or find somewhere else to work. Which means I have to finish my resume.

Oh yeah, and taxes. How are thsoe supposed to work? Is there a deadline to file your tax returns? How should I know? It's not like they teach you this important stuff in school.

I wish I had all the facts for certain right now so I could make my decision on what I'm going to do. I'm running out of time.

Will I ever have time to write again?