TRAVLER'S KITCHEN..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Proudly presents:

"HOTEL PERFECT": A Post-modern fairy tale on travelin' and cuisine.

                                                   -I-

Quarter to beer o'clock, two backbacks backin' each other on the sand, bakin' under the evening sun. A few steps ahead, a couple of thong-ridden feet supporting a hugeish young man's body and shoulders. In their shade, an anglosaxon female voice speaking at decibels where the sun never sets down. Yet, there in the shade she hids her face from the glorious southern sun. Were we to pay attention, we could hear the proprietor of the voice,Carla, and  her sun-block mate speak:

_Touurgouut, I think the most exciting journey is the journey toward an other person, I mean, you learn so much, you know…

_Oh yeah? So, what have you learned so far about me since we met three days ago?

_See, I think we don't learn statements about people, we rather learn sensations about or with them. Or at least that is the case with me, I mean, since a link in the chain that processes sensations to judgements in my brain is congenially broken, it takes me a longer-than-normal period to form judgements about people and places. So within that period, I simply stick to my sensations.

_Well, that's weird, I mean , how come?

_See, we all hear about congenially blind or deaf people,etc. that their other sensational faculties are somewhat oversensitive such that their disability is sort of 'balanced'  .

_Yeah, and?

_The same applies to me somehow, since I am congenially disabled to judge, my sensations have extremely intensified and become excessively sensitive over time.

_So?

_So, as for what I've learned about you since we met three days ago,  I can saaay you are the bell sounding rythm you make with your tea spoon in your teacup as if you are calling somebody from a distant  land, aaand I can saaay you're  the "xza xza" sound you make by pressing your tongue against your front teeth each time you disapprovingly shake your head…and what else? Let me see,….Yes! You are the beer foam frothing on your moustache each time you take a sip of it!

_Wooh ooh, so that's who I am for you, ha? That's how you're gonna remember me… Nice, Princess Carla, you say , for you people and places are a bunch of sensations subjectively appearing in your perception and you can get by perfectly well with just that. But, I'm tellin' you, your vision of me leaves an awful lot to be desired.

_I bet. That's what I'm saying though , you know, you can't deny that this creates in me a worldview immanent to my perceptions and all the more fortifies(enhances) the possibility of the existence of other world-views – that of absolute others whose perceptions are possibly totally different to mine-.I mean, wasn't it you who left a note on the fridge saying: "I'll go and check if another world is possible, don't expect me for dinner" to your mom and  ventured out to hit the roads 3 months ago? You intended to disappear, get lost and find your own personal way around the world, so did I , in my own way. Well, here we are now, and that little one up there is the boat that's gonna take us to Hotel Perfect's Ko Samed Branch.

_How could you understand that this particular one among the dozens of boats there is the one that will take us there?

_Come on, can't you see that promising expression on the boatman's face as if saying : "I am the Messenger of Mystery, I came to take you there". You can almost hear the eerie sound of silence at the background.

_Oh, can you? You must've really got oversensitive sensations; it seems, the thin line between paranoia and sensitivity is drawn by that precious broken link in your judgemental chain. Thank God, it is workin' slowly, I wonder where we would end up following who if it did happen to work a bit faster!

_All right  Mr.Phrase-drainer, if you don't want a picture of yours to appear on the website of Hotel Perfect's under the 'Victims of Fake Paradise' column, you'd better do as I say and get on that darn boat so at least we can get there by the sunset.

_What's the deal with that Hotel Perfect thing anyway? I mean, doesn't it sound sort of weird to you that there are more than one Hotel Perfects in the world?

_Why would it sound weird? Nobody mentioned The Perfect Hotel in the world, I just said we are going to a Hotel Perfect. Hotel Perfects are just a chain of Hotels like any other of that sort for example Hilton, Ritz, Radisson, etc…They have branches all over the world and if you shut up and relax for a moment, we'll get on that boat and head to a wonderful Hotel Perfect on Ko Samed Island.

_All right, but still , the name sounds kind of paradoxical to me, Hotel Perfect…

_Why? Do you think foxes and birds understand the same thing from " A wonderful dinner at a friend's after a long, tiring day"?

_But guests get to eat what they find, not what they expect!

_That's exactly why this chain of hotels have this name: "Hotel Perfect", they give the best possible food and service which they are capable of giving within the seasonal , geographical, social and environmental conditions of their setting and opt for the highest customer satisfaction. For example, now we are in ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Thailand, right? And we're going to a small island in the Gulf of Thailand, right? So what you'll find here won't be the best Gouda Cheese and  Van Gogh paintings, because these belong to the perfection of their geographical and social zone, namely Holland, but not here…

The other major difference they make to the other chain hotels is just to add a bit of adventure and curiosity to the game of finding these Hotels. That's a part of their customer satisfaction policy since their customers are sort of a discovery-addict hype. So you never see their written address or phone anywhere, you are basically supposed to find the Hotel Perfect branch closest to where you are completely by following your intuitions in deciding which qualify as signs on your way that'll lead you to Hotel Perfect. A wrong intuition might lead you to a dead end and taking something as a sign is a serious matter cos if you are mistaken, you can end up in a fake Hotel Perfect. There are dozens and dozens of them that rip off inexperienced trav'lers this way.

_But, can there be a fake Hotel Perfect really? I mean, Carla, you know, just as you said, people have different expectations and understandings of what's good for them or what qualifies as a sign. So, perhaps, if everyone's happy in whichever Hotel Perfect they end up, then where they end up just reveals what their understanding of perfection corresponds to. So perhaps, there are no fake Hotel Perfects in fact.

_This amounts to the Russian saying: "there are no ugly women but just insufficient vodka", come on Turgut, if there are two Perfect Hotels on two neighbouring beaches, don't you think one of them is fake? Don't you think one of them has better salads and a less pebbly shore?

_Well, I don't know. How about the signs that take me there? Without you, I wouldn't have taken the boatmen's facial expression as a sign.

_Well, yes, it is totally a matter of choice to take a smile, a song, a wind or a person to be a sign in our lives…By the way, do you take me as a sign  too leading you to Hotel Perfect?

_Of course I do.

_Good then, be prepared for an idyllic beach with coconut trees, crystalline water, an amazing plate of "Beef in Oyster Sauce and Jasmin Rice" at dinner by the most amazing cook on the island.

_God, I'm so hungry. D'you think they'll let us watch while they're cooking? Cos I'd really love to learn, you see.

_They only will let you watch upon seeing that you are able to differentiate each and every taste on your tastebuds without confusing the tastes and they adore it if you are able to express those sensations by referring to shapes, say: 'there's a triangular taste in the lemon sauce' for example. Because the most important feature of your stay at the Hotel Perfect is that every significant moment you spend there is engraved in your memory never to be forgotten again -

Just like the pervasive era of unforgettability surrounding your childhood memories- which , if you've noticed,  are themselves  acquired much prior to the formation of n our judgemental personalities. Beware not to get totally caught up in that though,  cos after a while, many people among their customers report that their life becomes just "a chain of moments spent in different branches of Hotel Perfect tied together like photos in a photo album. This is called the "sensational high" or "sensational indulgence" and needs intensive therapy and sometimes medical treatment.

_Wow, that's scary. Anyway, then, if my tasting qualifies to be a perfect experience of tasting, I'll be able to watch and learn how they cook at the hotel,hmm?

Beef in Oyster Sauce:

Recipe

Plain Rice(Jasmin Rice):

If you're only addiction is

To your own discoveries:

"Hotel Perfect

Awaits your path

To stars and chill

Outside your nest

It's those who stay

That tell the sun

To send the stars

 lightyears away…"