This is my attempt at being positive. 

There is a silver lining to every cloud:  That's right, storm clouds often have a silver lining during the day because they are blocking out the sun.  So remember everything that is nice and sunny is just on the other side of that cloud.  You however are not so... sucks to be you.

The glass is half full: Yup, the glass is always half full.  So keep in mind that no matter how much piss the world forces down your throat there is still another half glass waiting for you.

Everything happens for a reason: Of course there is a reason that brick fell from the fourth floor and crushed your cat right after you broke your toe stubbing it on the chair.  Of course you didn't see the chair you were already doubled over in pain.  You were doubled over in pain because a nice big chunk of your ceiling fell out above your bed while you were trying to sleep and hit you right in the crotch.  You were in bed because some jack ass ran over your other foot the day before while you were waiting for the bus.  You were waiting for the bus because your car fucking exploded.  Which oddly enough is the reason the brick fell out of the fourth floor, it had been hanging there perilously for days after a chunk of your car knocked it loose until that bird landed on it, which coincidentally is the only reason your cat was under the brick when it fell...  Fucking birds...

There are no mistakes in the universe: That's right little Jimmy, the universe wanted your gramgrams dead.  That's why it sent that drunk man out to his car that night and forced him to drive down the sidewalk at 80 mph.

Lets all be positive shall we?