Justin   1)  Justin made Chek Congo tapout from a rear naked choke without using his hands while drinking a beer.

2)  Justin utters words like 'Tubesteak' and 'Gracie' constantly.

3)  Justin's drumstool smells like bigfoot's dick.

4)  Michael Keaton is Justin's doppelganger. 

5)  Justin plays drums ... with his mind.

6)  Justin has made his own dog tapout, and he actually waited for the dog to say 'mercy'. 

7)  Chuck Liddel called Justin and asked for his mohawk back.  Justin replied, 'Come and get it'.

Ax  1)  One strand of Ax's hair can hold up to 2000 pounds.  Seriously.

2)  Ax's hair cures cancer.  Too bad he will never cut his hair.

3)  Ax uses so much 'delay' on his guitar that it alters the space-time continuium.

4)  Ax's hair is listed as one of Columbia's national treasures.

5)  Ax is at all parties at all times, in the history of the world.

6)  Ax saw a bionic duck.  He partied with it.

7)  Ax has the hardest to pronounce last name out of any human being in the history of the world.

8)  One time Ax was roundhouse kicked in the face by Scan at a show, and forgot who he was for the next 27 and a half hours.  Coincidentally, Jim was also roundhouse kicked in the face by Scan, and played a set five minutes later.

9)  Ax doesn't care where sack is... he's already sailed without him.

1)  Scan    Scan beat the dictionary at Scrabble.

2)  Scan once caught a 400 lb. bass.  For real. 

3)  Scan once smoked himself sober.  Then retarded.  Then sober.  Then retarded once more, all in the same night.

4)  Scan is the founder of the Robitz Agenda.  Ax still doesn't know what the hell he's talking about.

5)  Scan's once hit the brown note, causing everyone in the history of the world, dead or alive, to shit their pants. 

6)  Scan can quote "coming to america"  line for line from begining to end.

7)  Scan is not fat.  He's robust.

8)  Scan is the only member of the Koy Detmer fan club.

9)  Scan is the producer and ax is a producer.

10)  Scan is not your friend punchy

11)  Scan stage dove at CBGBs, and people actually caught him.

12)  Scan once survived on nothing but freeze pops for an entire week.

Jim  1)  Jim once shot a bionic duck, healed it, then set it free.

2)  Jim was born with a hat on.  And yes, it was a Phillies hat.

3)  Jim once said 'Rock your beat down', and he meant it.

4)  Jim's doppelganger, Jimmy Starburst, has ruined his reputation, unlike his other alter ego, Schooly B., who has totally redeemed him.

5)  Jim once handed out 17 stunners in one night, true story.

6)  Jim sustains himself on Cool Ranch Doritos, and Cool Ranch Dortios only!

7)  Jim asked Ax to be in the band, just so he could have a good coffee hook up. 

8)  It once took Jim five years to write the lyrics to one song.  That song was 'Ole'. 

9)  Jim thinks sarcasm should have its own font. 

10)  Jim wrote every episode of Saved By The Bell, including the College Years.

11)  Jim will see yall at okidogs.