Can one person hurt another emotionally?

I worry about this sometimes, because some people, primarily women, have accused me of hurting them emotionally.

They say I withdrew my love.

They tell me that when two people spend time together as a couple there is supposedly some kind of implied promise that they will stay together indefinitely.

Then if I, for example, decide that I have learned all I can from a relationship and decide it's time to move on well, that means I am a sinner, a traitor, an abandoner.

I have caused pain in another. I have violated expectations

Because once you have mingled your hearts, your bodies, your affections, according to certain women I have been with, then you are supposed to remain together forever and never go your separate ways.

But what if your feelings change? Then are you supposed to pretend?

I feel guilty sometimes because I have not lived up to this expectation of the eternal nature of love that others seem to carry.

Some women say that I have hurt them. I loved them. We had wonderful experiences together. We had ecstatic adventures. We even skyrocketed together to distant galaxies of pleasure. It was very potent at times.

Then I woke up one day and decided I needed to be alone. For how long who knows? I just had to go my own way.

I just needed to be alone.

And I admit, I was not good at communicating my need to be alone, to be apart.

I just went away. I just hid out.

I made excuses for why I was not there for them any more.

The fact was I needed space to grow. I needed time and space to assimilate all that merging of souls that had taken place.

I mean, can one person really hurt another person? Or can we only hurt ourselves by having expectations that the other person cannot meet?

When I see that a woman starts developing lots of expectations of me about a planned future together, sometimes it makes me nervous.

I get antsy. I look for ways of thwarting those expectations. Maybe I am not a skilled communicator. I am unable to express that feeling that I often feel that is like "Yes, I do care about you and appreciate you and feel deeply for you AND I also feel we need to move on. I want my own space, my own time. I want my own sanctuary where I can be totally alone.

I feel guilty sometimes, because women claim that my actions have caused them to feel hurt.

But the fact is I never wanted to hurt anybody. I have always consciously wanted to work for everybody's well being. Why would I want to hurt anyone?

These women just don't understand that I will not really be doing them a favor if I stay there just pretending to love, pretending to want to be there when it's not really true.

It's better to follow my heart and to leave when I want to leave.

There are no guarantees in life.

For a relationship to continue, it has to have value for both partners in the living present. It mustn't be just based on beautiful memories of times gone by, or on the fulfillment one person's imagined future.

There has to be growth occurring right now.

I think it's all good though, even the misunderstandings. It's all leading toward each person learning to take responsibility for his/her own life and his/her own feelings.

That idea "You create your own reality." has awesome implications.

I, the being who I really am, behind the ego masks and smokescreens, does create my life. I create all of my own challenges and difficulties. I create this whole dreamlike world that I am drifting through.

No one else makes me feel guilty or hurt. I do it to myself.

All of the demons who attack me are of my own creation.

I am not a victim of anything. How can I remember this when I am lost in the throes of self-pity? When I am angry at all those who have "done me harm"?

And those women, those women who claim I have hurt them emotionally, are they not creations of my deepest nature too? What is this mirror they are holding up meant to teach me?