I've decided to argue with some man rules concerning women and here is what I have written.

1. The toilet seat. It's simple. I don't like having a wet ass. I don't like having my ass stuck in a toilet at 3 a.m. while half asleep wondering if I'm being eaten. You, on the other hand, have nothing to lose by putting the toilet seat down [unless you're a midget] so fucking PUT IT DOWN!

2. Birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Anniversaries aren't days about presents and all that other bullshit. Most women just want you to, I don't know, see us on those days. Is that so much to ask for? Taking time out of your busy schedule for one day of stopping by.

3. Here's a shocker, a lot of times...women aren't thinking about their guys. Well, at least myself and a few female friends. Our world does not revolve around you and yours should not revolve around us. It's creepy, and unsettling. I'd much rather think about nailing some hot actor than the not-so-amazingly attractive fucker I'm stuck with.

4. Weekends = Parties. You can go out with your friends and drink without me so why can't I? Are you that insecure with yourself and holding so fast to double standards?

5. Don't shave your head. It makes you look weird. I'm sorry a human skull with less than an inch of skin [give or take] on it isn't appealing to me. 

6. Why would I want you to go shopping with me? So you can bitch about any low cut top I'm looking at, and then I see you staring down the cashier's shirt to have a better look at her cleavage? No thanks. I'm fine going it alone.
 
7. I cry. And if you are the reason I'm crying, I have choosen said form of releasing emotion because killing you would result in jail time. You're not worth that.

8. I don't hint. I say what I mean. Apparently, you still seem to think that all women hint at what they want so therefore you toss what I directly mean out the window. We still get no where on that one.

9. Why bother reminding you of my birthday, anniversaries, and other stuff? I may as well just let you know the day of because any reminder beforehand will be entirely forgotten.  

10. Why would a woman ever ask a heterosexual male what shoes should go with her dress? I wouldn't. You can barely dress yourself some days!

11. Yes and no are not perfectly acceptable answers to questions. Especially questions regarding your state of living and breathing. Elaborate a little bit now and then you boring fuck.

12. I'll come to you with a problem when I want to hear the words, "I don't know. Why not call one of your chick friends?" or when I want to be simply ignored, and have to hear your, "I've Been Through It All" speech and suddenly it's all about you and your life story. Thanks for the help.

13. "A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor." Written by some dude. Here is my reply: A headache that lasts for 17 months is indeed a problem. Break up with him and find a better lay.
 
14. As a woman, I have a database full of shit men have said to me. I file them away solely to pull out in an argument. Why don't men like this? They're forced to remember how stupid they sounded 6 months ago. Nobody likes to hear about the promises the broke.

15. If we ask you about weight, you're doomed. We both know that.
 
16. Men have this issue with saying things that can either be interpreted badly or very well. Unfortunately, we tend to lean towards the bad, so I'd suggest working on that elaboration thing we discussed earlier. Or were you not listening as usual?
 
17. When I tell you how to do something, just fucking do it. When I want to know how something's done just teach me. When I require both, it;s called multi-tasking. You can drink beer AND change the channel. Therefore, you can in fact multi-task.
 
18. I'm more than happy to talk during commericals, but I'd like to enjoy the show to...so could you stop trying to explain what we're watching during it. I'm a woman, I'm not blind. 
 
19. You don't need directions, but I'd like to save on gas money. Excuse me for that.

20. The relationships always starts out nice. Doesn't it? I'm sorry that I complain about you suddenly turning into an asshole out of no where when you think I'm not going to leave you. 
 
21. I expect no knowledge of colors from a male UNLESS he is my best gay friend.

22. You love scratching your balls don't you? That's great and all but I'd like to not be the girl standing there with everyone wondering if her boyfriend has herpes or not. 

23. You don't have to read my mind. I never expected that of you. In fact, I can't even read minds yet. *gasp*

24. When I ask you what's wrong, you could also stop answering..."nothing" as well. Grow some balls and actually talk about something that's really bothering you. You're not any more of a man for acting tough about shit, so spill it.
 
25. You can ask me all the questions you don't really want answer to. I'll be more than happy to tell you what I really think or what really happened. Regardless of your punching the wall display at the end of it. And believe it or not, you can tell me shit I don't want to hear as well. I promise I won't sob. Really. 

26. You may say you don't care what I wear, but I'm sure if I wore a sweat suit with shit on it...you'd have wished I spent that extra 5 minutes putting something decent on.
 
27. I don't care what you're thinking about either. Straight and simple. 

28. I like clothes. You like tools. I don't bitch about all the tools you have. 

29. I may have too many shoes, but you have too much body hair. Seriously? Am I sleeping with a bear?

30. I'd watch a horror film any day. Your attendance isn't required. 

31. Taking quizzes together, how about no? I don't enjoy them either. *gasp*

32. Apparently, I can't be fat. So get your lazy in shape.