For most of us who have parents, there will come a day when unfortunately we receive a phone call we don't want to hear. This phone call will eventually happen to us all, yet we prefer not to receive this call any sooner than we have to.
With great sadness and disbelief, I received mine Monday, November 26th.
The day didn't start off that great to begin with. I called my wife to tell her I was on my way to pick up my daughter from school. She told me she was getting frustrated with her job, almost to the point of walking out. My wife is a woman with admirable work ethics and is dedicated to her job and her coworkers. I don't think my wife would actually just walk out of any job, so to hear her even talking like that, I knew she must have been having a really bad day. We talked for a bit longer. I told her I hoped her day got better and then I hung up as I approached the school.
On my way back home, my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number at first, but noticed the 570 area code which was mine growing up in Pennsylvania. Who is calling me from there?
I answered the phone. It was my dad. He was calling from my sister's house. Oh yeah,, NOW I recognized the number!
"Mike.. Where are you at?" he asked. I'm wondering why he would be calling me simply to ask me where I am. "I just picked up Kayla from school and now we're on the way home" I replied.
"Are you sitting down?" he asked. "Yes, I'm in my car"..
"Well, I have some really bad news, Mike" I could already feel my heart beat faster, preparing for the worst. "Your mother passed away this morning".
"What?" I could not fathom what I thought he just said. "Mike,, mother passed away this morning" I had so many emotions immediately swell up inside me,,, one of extreme sadness, one of disbelief, one of denial, and one more where I just could not understand it at all. I felt myself shaking so bad, I almost drove off the road. How could this possibly be? She was only 70 years old. She had diabetes and high blood pressure, but both conditions were well managed with medication. I had just spoken to her 4 days prior to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. She sounded just fine to me, giving me absolutely NO clue that that could even possibly be my last conversation with her.
Maybe I was a bit biased, but I considered myself VERY lucky to be her son. She was in my opinion, the greatest mother in the world. She had 5 children, me being the youngest one. It was obvious she loved each one of us dearly. Her and dad were by NO means financially rich, but they always made sure that we always had everything we truly needed. We were never without the basic necessities. Mom and Dad were quick to discipline us children. They wanted to make sure we grew up knowing right from wrong, But they were even quicker to forgive us for our mistakes.
I certainly did my share of bad things as a child. I poured Elmer's glue on the kitchen carpet, wrote with crayon on the living room carpet, put my fingerprints in a batch of Easter eggs mom had just made. These were just a few examples. If I confessed in this blog ALL the things I did bad, I would be typing for the rest of the year. Even as I got older, the bad things still continued. Smoking a cigarette one day on the way to school. I ripped the TV cable off the TV one night because I was mad at her. Yes, I got in trouble for these things. But never once did she withhold her love from me.
I am also thankful my parents took us to church. They wanted us all to know and believe in our Savior Jesus Christ. It was important to both of them that we turned out to be good children, and for the most part we did. Even through all the mistakes I made in my life, I know that I turned out much better with them as my role models. As I said before, my parents were as perfect as parents could be, both of them being my heroes.
I'm still in denial, unable to believe she's no longer with us. With me living 2000 miles away in Utah, I would call them as often as I could, though never as much as I wanted to. Often times I really didn't have any major news to tell them, but it was very comforting just to hear her voice on the other end. If there's one regret that bothers me most, is what I didn't say. As much as I loved both of my parents, I never told them near enough. I just hope somehow she knew how truly special she was to me, how I am a much better man because of her, and how I will miss her more than words could ever express.
I also feel bad for my daughter. The last time she saw mom, she was four. I don't think Kayla truly understands that we will never see or hear her on this earth again. Because of the distance between us, Kayla was just beginning to know her Gram. Now all she will have is a few memories of her and all the things mom bought for her.
My wife and I are both blessed with the opportunity to have seen her on three different occasions this year alone. For a week in February, a week in April, and almost TWO weeks in June. And two of those three trips were ones where they flew out here! Consider the fact that mom never stepped foot on an airplane until 8 years ago and you see what a miraculous opportunity these visits were.
It's still hard to sleep at night and often times hard to function during the day. There's so much more I wanted to say to her. And then there's the big question as to why the Lord had to take her so sudden and so soon? Maybe he needed a role model to teach his angels. If this is the case, then I'm beginning to understand it a little better. Mom lived her life earning her wings. She was as perfect as a human being can be. Most of all, she was one of my best friends in the whole world. I will forever thank God for the opportunity to be her son and to grow up by her side.
I am still lucky to have my father. I'm sure he misses mom a lot, too. I love him very much as well, and at her funeral I made sure I told him how much he meant to me.
As I look through the scriptures for answers to life, I see no reference to internet access in Heaven. But mom, if somehow you are out there reading this, please know that I thank you, I love you, and will miss you more than words can say.
Till we meet again, until then... Goodbye :*-(