I remember this from my days in University and just came across it again - for those of your who dive, enjoy!  You others can remain puzzled! ;)

Taken from:

http://www.chime.ucl.ac.uk/~rmhiajp/diving/divesex.htm author unkown

50+ things common to diving and sex:

1. You have the choice of back mount, front mount, or side mount.
2. Sometimes you have to sneak to do it.
3. Sometimes angry people come after you with a shotgun for doing it!
4. If you get too hot, all you need to do is unzip!
5. You worry when your kids are doing it.
6. It's too bad that people tend to spend more time thinking and talking about it than actually doing it.
7. Too many toys can be distracting.
8. Some people get paid to do it!
9. You can have multiple experiences per day if you're in good shape.
10. It's much more enjoyable when you're comfortable with fluids.
11. To enjoy it to the fullest, you must not mind getting your face wet!
12. It's considered bad form to smoke either right before or right after participating in it.
13. It can be done in total darkness, but even a little light makes it much more fun!
14. The longer (time or distance?) the penetration, the better.
15. The longer each experience gets, the more pleasure one can feel.
16. It's nice to take a nap when you're done.
17. It makes you hungry;
18. A good partner makes all the difference.
19. It's easy to become addicted.
20. The tighter the better.
21. It's an excellent way to unwind.
22. When you're doing it, it's hard to think of anything else.
23. Some people involve their pets, but it's generally not a good idea.
24. It may be difficult to talk while you are engaged in it.
25. I'd rather do it with just one partner.
26. It's no fun if you get cold.
27. Dreaming about it can't replace the real thing.
28. The better you get, the more fun you have.
29. The noises that people produce during the act are rarely intelligible.
30. Contingency planning makes it a lot safer.
31. One can never practice enough.
32. One should always strive to take it one level higher.
33. It's all about exploring new avenues.
34. You need to spit out your gum first!
35. Wearing diapers detracts from the experience.
36. You don't need to spend a lot on fancy equipment to enjoy it.
37. It makes you get your hair wet.
38. It's better not to do it on a really full stomach.
39. It's fun to try it in new places!
40. It's easier and more fun when you're wet.
41. Choking is a sign of trouble!
42. You can do it naked or clothed.
43. It's a good way to wake up.
44. You can do it with strangers, but it may be dangerous!
45. Beginners will be amazed by how fun it is.
46. You never get too old for it.
47. If you're dry, Personal Lube helps you slide in easier.
48. It's more fun when making noises.
49. It's surprising how much more you get out of being upside down.
50. You can take it to a level beyond the mere physical act.
51. It can get smelly but it's only natural odors.
52. There's nothing like a good shower afterwards!
53. Good technique can make all the difference.
54. Feeling like having to pee can be inconvenient.