 |
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I'm not sexy! Yet, some people out there seem to think that I am. Since I don't want this kind of attention, this blog is a call for people to come to their senses!
I don't understand why some people make a fuss over me, as if I'm all that and a bag of sex-chips. I just don't get it. I always dress conservatively, in t-shirts and jeans, and rarely wear make-up. I find it nearly impossible to walk in high heels. I'm short, awkward, and clumsy, plus I still get zits.
Despite this, I'm still inundated by love poems, flowers, and naked pictures from admirers. This phenomenon has always boggled my mind, that is, until now. I know for a fact that I'm not as sexy as you think, and I can prove it! I've developed a theory based on the video below.
Now, pay close attention...
There's a very good chance that I was hatched-forth by the seed of Tom Jones, and there is a sex pheromone being emitted by my dna that is driving people into a frenzy. Ya see, it is rumored that after this very performance, every single female in the audience had been impregnated merely by being in the same room as his sweaty hip thrusts.
In case you're wondering, he's been gathering up his "babies" over the years and putting them to work on his ranch in Wyoming. They tend the farm and work in his underground hanger making his spacecraft which will take him to other planets so that he may explore alien-vaginas since he's done with all of the ones that are here on Earth.
What does all of this have to do with me, you ask? Brace yourselves...I was born 9 months after the above concert was filmed, which I know, mathematically makes no sense since I'm only 23 years old, but Tom's black magic fudges the numbers! And by the way, somebody please notify the authorities if I come up missing.
So in conclusion, if you see me and think to yourself, "hey, she's cute." Think Again! You, like millions of others, are being hypnotized by the groovy sperm of Tom Jones.
I think this explains everything. Thanks, -Lisa
9:25 AM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|