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i guess it's time to share some thoughts again.
i thought about doing one of those annoying surveys... but then i decided that crashing a train of thought might be nice.
....
life is so good, and sometimes i take it for granted. i've gotten to see and do a ton of stuff in the past 4 years that i am really grateful for, but i rarely understand that until i leave a place, geographically. strange... i wish that didn't happen. but wishing doesn't really ever accomplish anything, does it? right. it's like i am really into living in the moment, and so i forget that there's a "real world" (what the hell is that) where i have responsibilities of school, work, making rent, etc... whatever.
yes, so here i am in new zealand. and i am quite content where i am, which is perfect to me. it's "summer" in my head (but really it's winter outside) and i feel like it's a bit of my right to feel content... if i had any rights at all. so far, my visit has been really good, but different from what i expected - and i think part of that has to do with my arriving without any expectations. i mean, that's kind of good though, because then everyday really does feel new and good. and so i work some, and sleep some, and drink a lot of tea and read a lot, and am amazed by nz's beauty everytime i step outside. brillant.
i think something missing in me - some sort of sureness of heart that i've lost along the way in the past year. i want to understand and see god more and more, but in a new way... which sounds so grossly cliche, but i am longing to have my definitions of love, patience, and contentedness (is that a word?) redefined by the one who defines everything. yeah! i get a little floored about it when i think about it, because i feel like i've been learning a lot from the father lately.. which is good. and in sort of indirect and interesting ways, as well; i love it.
ok, that's all. god is the ultimate ideal of perfect relationship, i want to reflect that while i'm on this green earth.
help!
end.
10:39 AM
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