Frequently-Asked Questions

What is the purpose of this website?

The point of this website is to encourage MySpace.com to allow its users an option to fill in their own gender instead of having to choose between "male" and "female." This website also advocates allowing users to fill in their own sexual orientation instead of having a list of MySpace-defined selections for people to choose from.


What can I do?

Friend this website. Put it in your top gazillion. Place a graphic on your MySpace page. Tell everyone you know about it. Set your gender to be "female" if you're "male" or "male" if you're "female." Refuse to fill in your gender. Fill in your sexual orientation like this, where "queer" is whatever you identify as, including "gay," "pansexual," "bisexual," "straight," "asexual," "ally," whatever:



To get this:



So that when someone quickly scans your status box, they'll take your "hometown" listing to be your "orientation" because they're so used to your "orientation" being listed after "status."

What is the difference between sex and gender?

"Sex" is a biological definition -- it strictly pertains to what's between your legs. So your sex is your penis, vagina, or intersexed genitalia. EDIT | 082307 | Several people have written in to note that sex also includes the legal and social classes associated with the social construct of sex -- that is, that sex is not only a biological definition, but it is also carries a much stronger social definition "invented by ... participants in a particular culture or society[,] ...exist[ing] because people agree to behave as if it exists or follow conventional rules."¹What this means, basically, is that sex exists in the binary form the mainstream ascribes to today because society decided sex was binary, which means that it's just as easy for society to "undecide" that sex is binary as well.


"Gender," however, is an emotional or mental concept of what you believe your sex to be -- for some people, this means that, even though they have a vagina, they feel more comfortable identifying as male. For others, they have a penis and are comfortable identifying as male. And for others still, no matter what their genitalia is, they don't feel comfortable identifying as any of the "traditional" genders. What's important with gender is that it is an individual's self-defined concept of gender, and it is what makes them feel comfortable.


"Traditional" gender? When did gender become anything but "traditional"?

"Traditional" gender is what refers to the "traditional" -- or long-standing -- social structure of gender, which is the idea that there are two genders, male and female. However, as long as there have been human beings, there have been more than two genders -- it's just that no one started talking about it until recently. Some Native American and Eastern cultures have long celebrated "third" or other genders, like Hinduism: The Hindu God, Shiva, for example, is Ardhanarishwar¹, which means that Shiva is half male and half female. And the different types of intersexuality add several more medically-recognized genders to the spectrum.


What is "binary gender"?

"Binary," meaning "two," refers to the "traditional" two-part gender structuring, where there is male and there is female.


I don't understand. Why do there need to be more than two genders? Isn't everyone technically male or female?

It's important that there be more than two genders because there are more than two genders. There are no people in the world that exactly fit the social stereotype of what a male or a female is -- so everyone's interpretation of gender is a little different. There are millions of people in the world, so there are millions of interpretations of gender. Some girls wear boys' clothes and still feel perfectly female, whereas some girls wear boys' clothes and feel more male. And others don't feel anything.


And more importantly, some people don't have the usual XX or XY chromosomes that determine male or female sex -- some people have XXX chromosomes, some have XXY chromosomes, or XYY, or other combinations. So not everyone is "technically" male or female.

What are the differences between "gender," "gender identity," and "gender expression"?
Gender, again, is a person's mental and emotional concept of their sex, which leads to the formation of a gender identity, which could be thought of (very simplistically) as the "label" an individual is comfortable with wearing. Gender expression is a person's physical manifestation of their gender identity, as in the way they present their gender identity to the outside world. For example, a person with male genitalia may have a male gender identity and present a male gender ..that is, they wear men's clothes and appear as male to other people), but someone may also have female genitalia,


How do I know what pronouns to use for someone?

It is usually best to ask an individual what pronouns to use to refer to them as, but a general rule of thumb (though it certainly does not apply to everyone) is that an individual may prefer to be addressed as the gender they are presenting as (i.e., if someone is presenting as female, they prefer female pronouns like "she" and "her"). There are some gender-neutral pronouns, too: Zhe, zir, hir, etc.


So what do people who aren't male or female identify as?

Again, there are as many identities as there are indiividual people, but some of the major identities include:

• Transgender. "Transgender," or its shorter version, "trans," is used to describe all people who transgress, or go beyond, traditional gender boundaries.


• Transsexual. Transsexual individuals are people who are in the process of or who have completed transitioning from their birth sex to their gender identity, which frequently does not "match" their birth sex, on a number of levels. Transsexual people frequently "present" -- that is, dress and act like -- the gender they feel most comfortable as. Transsexual people may be taking hormones to help their bodies to become more like their gender identity and may have surgery performed to further their transition. Not all transsexual people choose to take hormones or get surgery. Here is an excellent and accessible guide to basic transgendered terminology.


• Genderqueer. A person whose gender identity is neither male nor female, is both male and female, is sometimes one gender and sometimes the other, is sometimes every gender -- including third, fourth, and other genders -- or any combination of the above.


• Female-to-Male, or FTM. Female-to-Male, or FTMs, are female-to-male transgendered individuals who feel that their birth sex, female, is incongruous with their gender, gender identity, and gender expression, which are usually some degree of female. FTMs may take testosterone, or "T," in order to lower their voices and help restructure their bodies to appear more masculine. They may also have chest reconstruction surgery to remove their breasts, and some FTMs get oomphorectomies (removal of the ovaries) or hysterectomies (removal of all internal female organs). Some may also get gender-reassignment surgery, but this is more infrequent than MTF sex-reassigment surgery. Not all FTMs choose to do all or any of these things in their transitional process.


• Male-to-Female, or MTF.. Male-to-Female, or MTFs, are male-to-female transgendered individuals who feel that their birth sex, male, is incongruous with the gender, gender identity, and gender expression, which are usually some degree of female. MTFs may take estrogen, have breast implants done, or have sex-reassignment surgery in their transitions, but there is, again, no rule or timeline that all transgendered people follow in their transitions.