Yes this looks like a long diatribe. I don’t expect anyone to read it. Really it’s for my own memories and information. Do as you will and carry on.
The prep this year was not quite as intensive as last year. Most of the bulk work was done on the trailer, but dammit this year I wanted to finish the exterior paint job so it didn’t look primered out. I also grinded off and repainted the bumper and front tongue, and replaced the chains. I also added some non-original touches like painting all the window trims black, etc. Thomas installed a pack of solar cells so we can at least have light and some charging ability while travelling. We also welded on a bike rack.
The first leg of our Texas journey started with a little 3 day faire in Palm Springs. The first two days were standard good days. That Sunday, however, started with looking outside in time to spot a large piece of plywood fly through the air. The faire was cancelled later that day when a wind storm with 50 foot dust devils ransacked the park, destroying merchandise and nearly felling the main stage pavilion that was held down with eight 50 gallon barrels. It was quite interesting sight to be sprinkled on throughout the day by a rain storm held hostage by the crest of the nearby mountain. The storm never did make it over the crest. The gusts were strong enough to carry the precipitation over the mountain and into downtown.
Now, doing so many festivals we’ve done a lot of off-roading in our Lincoln without much choice. As luck would have it, after a couple years of this we finally had the power steering line broken… while in downtown palm springs. Not on a muddy backwoods road. No. Downtown Palm Springs by a large random hunk of asphalt sitting in the middle of manicured main street.
We stopped over in Lake Havesu City, AZ for a day or two to hang out with my parents. Our bike rack beefed up sufficiently by my dad. (side note.. there is a Broomrape Street, and a Camel Towing CO. in this city) We had new tires put on our trailer in Phoenix, and while overnighting outside of Tuscan, AZ we had our gas siphoned while we slept in the trailer. Gah.
Once again, it takes far too long to cross Texas, and we didn’t even have to cross the entire thing. We did have a nice tail wind that increased our gas mileage quite a bit. As we pulled onto the Scarborough faire site on 3am on Friday, we noticed lightning in the distance. We hurriedly set up our trailer supports and attached the storm flap to the solar panels. To our lament, after 50 years of use the trailer’s crank jack decided to break at this moment. (A few days later we installed a new one.) We stabilized the trailer just as the storm hit.
Last year turned out to be a record year for tornados. Suffice it to say we came prepared this time. At least mentally. There were no real tornado warnings to speak of this year. There was, however, rain predicted every single weekend, even if it didn’t rain that day. Weather.com really screws faires by reporting the precipitation percentage predicted. When the site predicts a 30% chance of rain, the common viewer does not take into account the concurrent 70% chance of NO rain. So ultimately less people attended the faire. Add that to the recession and swine flu scares in Texas, and the season didn’t garner very good attendance. I will say that Thomas did manage to fill the audience at the main Crown stage to a level similar or close to the size of Don Juan and Miguel’s audiences. This is not a small victory we have come to find out. It’s actually quite a rarity.
I did chalk art this year on the slab next to the elephants again. And once again I struggle with the lesson of all things being temporary, including artwork. Due to the rain factor the chalking wasn’t that great. As soon as it rained whatever I did would get instantly washed away. Also once again one learns the ninjitsu lesson that no one ever looks up or down. Over the course of the day I start developing a heavy dismay when there are no tips, and people walk right across artwork you’re in the middle of creating. Some will even walk across and smear it with their noble skirt’s train. I’m not a naturally angry person but damn do they try my nerves. I also worked as a lane character, which I love doing, and as Thomas’s hawker. Yes that’s three jobs.
Chalk creations this year include:
-Welcome to Scarby Toast from King and Queen
-Beer and Wine tasting results ie “drunken drawing”
-Marilyn Monroe styled Scottsman with flying Kilt for Highland Week
-Easter Hunt 2009 (running bunny with sack of eggs for kids to color)
-May Day! Man falling into well
-Love Notes de la Privy –Romance Week
-Mud angels/ fae
-Ad for Thomas the Pyrojuggler
-Shadow tracing and sun dial via shadow
-Our favorite things about Scarby –Last week
The social scene at this faire is grand. During the week there seems to be something going on at the festival site nearly every day for two months straight. There are dance parties, poetry readings, art shows, music jams, concerts (*love*), costume parties, Monday bizarre bazaar etc etc. We also started a “Fucked up movie night” tradition at Rhianna the Troll’s place. Unfortunately the same night of the yearly Funky Formal also happened to be the long anticipated night of the Dallas Jonathan Coulton concert. (if you don’t know who that is, I weep for you, and order you to go look it up.) We returned in time for the tail end of the formal. I’m usually not one to get into the whole “booty bump” scene myself anyway…. Only if it’s funny, really. Then again I’ll do pretty much anything for a good laugh.
Thomas gathered quite a few minions this year. See the pictures in my photo section. Rhianna the Troll had fun minioning for us. She’s awesome. On that note I will say that with the low attendance left us with more time to get to know the other workers at the faire. I made quite a few fantastic friends myself. It’s actually kind of rare for me to have friends that weren’t Thomas’s friends first. During faire days I often found myself hanging out with and gigging with the fantasy creature demographic. Gigging being a vastly appropriate term in this case. (Giggity!). We made a new game of bubble fluffing (directing bubbles without touching them), and bubble splitting (hitting a bubble with a wind current just right so it splits into a dozen). Bubbles are fun playmates. As are fantasy creatures. I helped Noobler build contraptions in the tinker yard some week days. Diligent concentrated tinkering is some of the best fun you can have while completely quiet. Insert an extra dash of concentration while trying not to make terribly dirty comments about holding up a gnome’s rubber balls while he sprays big stuff foam on it to produce the gnome universe…..Giggity.
The last weekend I realized was much like being Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Instead of having a scarecrow with no brain, a tinman with no heart and a Lion with no courage, I had a sharp Gnome with a huge brain, a leprechaun with an anger management problem, and a lady Troll with a libido. I didn’t want to click my heels together at the end of the run, let me tell you.
We packed as quickly as we could while saying goodbyes. Managed not to cry. We were finally run out of the campground by an ominous impending thunder storm. As we came, so we went. Like David Carradine. (what? too soon?)
The return to California went off without a hitch really. Except one of the truck stops at which we purchased only a bag of ice turned out to have charged $40 and $99 fraudulently. We also happened upon a gun shop where we both found nice holsters for our blackpowder pistols. I got my little derringer holster for $5. It appealed to my inner cheap bastard.
We returned in the late afternoon Friday in time to get a good rest before performing at Koroneburg the next day. Once again the hawking proved difficult. At the very least in Texas you can have minor victories of a good laugh from patrons even if they don’t end up going to your show. In California they will not only avoid eye contact, but they feel that to laugh acknowledges your existence to the extent of losing their own personal fidelity. Some will even completely change direction if you talk to them. “OH GOD! An unprovoked verbal acknowledgement! Flee!” Therefore the hawking can get even more intense. The Minions have to herd people like sheep dogs. Interestingly enough they will laugh eventually if you badger them. I find it so odd that patrons don’t realize we are here for the explicit purpose of making them enjoy their stay. What better job in the world is there than having feet on the ground actively making people happy? That’s a priceless asset and a boon to society to give people great times, great memories, to feel good about themselves, laugh hard and true, thus brightening their lives if only for a day. If I could give someone all the tea in china to keep making the world a better place like that, I would.
I will say that you sure can get away with a lot more at this faire. They sure love their dirty humor. It’s a nice break from having the proverbial strained bead of sweat trickle down your forehead when you can’t say the awfully dirty comment that came to mind at a “Family show”. I’m going to make a sign that simply says “That’s what she said.” It will save a lot of time.
We bought a 5th wheel on and truck on the cheap, but due to time constraints between faires we were unable to prep it in time for the journey to Michigan. The truck especially was a mess…. We got it for $650 (plus $150 in diesel). Sure enough, the previous owner was great with the mechanical, but bad at electrical. I spent a week under the dash trying to make sense of the after market wiring. I located 6 live wires so far (plus one live accessory wire) hanging loose from the dash, most exposed and causing shorts (and one fire). I got a bunch of stuff to work, though I cant find the short breaking the Cig lighter fuse upon starting the truck. So many things went wrong with the truck up to and including the tread coming clean off a tire, a lug snapping off a day after we completely redid the break system ourselves (thus having to replace the rotor AGAIN), and a small yet major retaining pin deciding to disappear from the shifter altogether. And the brake controller that’s supposed to activate the trailer brakes is nonresponsive. This is of course not to mention the more trivial things missing from the truck (which I found on the cheap on craigslist), like the interior panels, radio, and the full window wing assemblies. Apparently the truck went to repo recently and before it could be saved it was partially parted out.
The 5th wheel itself is great though. On the cheap, 3 pop outs. Check my photos. Just needs the carpet replaced and the roof re-caulked. I found a new couch to replace the dirty old one for cheap on craigslist (also got black leather massage chair)… getting it into the rig was like a virgin on prom night. We actually sorta kinda broke the couch-side cabinet getting her to fit in the slot (giggity). Just a little. Getting through the door alone was a magic trick of twisting and turning that no one believed would work. It just barely did, and we all felt like fuckin geniuses. I also stripped and caulked the majorly aged areas of sealant on the roof.
Meanwhile we find out that it’s illegal to park an unattached trailer on our street (=ticket)…so we attached it to the motorcycle (=up yours). We took the 5th wheel and truck to a nearby cheap storage area, but not before getting a warning claiming you cant park a trailer on the street between the hours of 2am and 6am (which I haven’t found any documentation for, btw), thus requiring us to take the little trailer to the nearest WalMart to sleep every night until we leave. Sonofafuckinbitch.
We did manage to put another 45Watts of solar cells on the little trailer, bringing us up to 90W, but also needing the batteries replaced.
Turns out Thomas got a gig on the 4th of July here in Cali, leaving us with only a week to cross the country. Geh. This is going to suck. And not in the fun way. You know we could really use a return on that Karma pre-pay program.