People often ask me; "A Cute Guy, Why do you use MySpace?"
My answer; To get pussy.
Why else would I spend hours creating and maintaining a profile, check the "Dating" Box, and openly advertise my "Swinger" status? Ohhh, for the love of god!
So, I will answer it here.
Anyway, One night I was surfing the web and found myself browsing MySpace once again. Some of the profiles women had put up were simply hilarious, and the things they were apparently looking for in men... were, to be brief, insane. I laughed the entire night reading these profiless. They all seemed the same, these women claiming they wanted a man who was loving, kind, honest, sincere, etc. I'd never read so much bullshit in my entire life. If they really wanted all that in a man, Then how come I get laied 3+ times a week. (Would be more, but I'm a busy man.) Still they all wanted an honest man. That I CAN deliever.
Most guys lie; I know, cause I used to as well. We need to lie to get pussy.
Some of you women want us to jump through hoops just to get into your panties, or do a bunch of shit we don't want to do. We do these things reluctantly, just so we finally get some pussy. I can't even begin to describe the dumb, ridiculous shit I've done just to get my share of pussy.
I decided that night to dump the truth, and nothing but the truth, on these women. They wanted a man to be honest, and I could give them the truth. Fuck it, I thought, I've nothing better to do, and nothing to lose. So I started writing the brutal truth. The more I wrote the more ridiculous these ads seemed to me.
Halfway through I started laughing, and couldn't stop. I guess I needed to vent something that night, cause I didn't hold back. This is my profile, exactly as I posted it
I'LL BE BRIEF. I AM A CUTE GUY, AND I LOVE, FUCKING HOT WOMEN.
Hi, ladies! You always say in your ads that you're looking for an honest man. Well, you've found one, but you probably won't like what he has to say. I'm placing this ad response cause I'm looking to get laid, and that's it. Hey, at least that's honest. Why else would I do it? Think about it. We single men are lonely, and basically looking for something to do. Reading some of the ads, I've laughed out loud at stuff like "long walks in the park" or "I like to go hiking." What a load of crap!
Half the women I've met, after two blocks they're complaining their feet hurt. My favorite is "I like to go horseback riding." That's the one that cracks me up the most. First, where the hell do you find a horse in suburbia? Second, what makes you think it wants you on its back? If you want to ride a beast, just ride me! And here's another one for you ladies. What makes you think I'd want to go to a God-damn Museum? All that tells me is that you are either A. a Necrophile or B. one boring ass female. Fuck that!
Here's another good one. "I love sports." Puhleeze, ladies. The first thing you want to do on a Sunday during the V8 supercar racing season is drag us around town making us do stuff we don't want to do? I speak for at least 50% of the men out there when I say: 1. We hate shopping (with you). 2. We do not want to hang out with your family or your silly friends. I don't have time to do those boring ass things some of you ladies want a man to do. I, as a man, won't give a fuck, unless you take it in an Orrifice.
My own agendas come first. I work 7 days a week, and after a long day the last thing I want to hear is "Where are we going tonight?" The only reason men put up with your fantasies is - and let's be honest here - we want to get laid. I used to play that game - doing the shopping thing, walks in the park bullshit, those ridiculous, so-called-romantic things you make us do just to see if we will do them, and then, just maybe, you might give us some pussy. Wake up, ladies! It's a different world!
The fantasy man you dreamt of, as a child no longer exists in 2008. Kind, caring, sincere, loyal, etc men are few and far between (admittedly, those men are written off as "Nice Guys.") And if you think you can find a guy like that on the web, well... good-fucking-luck. Most guys on-line are checking out porn sites, and wondering how to get laid.
So, do you hate me now? Are you pissed off that you've wasted your time reading this? Well, that's life, honey. If you want your pussy pounded into submission by a white man, I'm the one, baby. And if reading this has made your pussy moist, drop a brother an e-mail. You never know... if you live close enough to me, tonight could be your lucky night instead of being all alone with your index finger...
In closing, let me stress that I love all women - although I prefer skinny/athletic woman (18-29). Call me shallow, but with my natural "assets," I can pick and choose as I see fit.
Ladies, here's the deal. If you're looking for someone to run around town, go here and there, pay your bills, do a lot of dumb boring shit like I mentioned above, and overall kiss your ass, by all means stick with your "Nice Guy" pariahs.
However, if you want to fool around and have sex with a MAN, I'm your Dark knight. I have a very erotic mind and like to experiment with my ladies. I love role-playing games and shit like that. I'm not down with any gay stuff unless it's between women. I'm a voyeur and like to watch. I will satisfy you in the bedroom just as you must satisfy me outside.
If you are interested in A Cute Guy who can be a man, add & e-mail me. Otherwise good luck and fuck off.
+++ A Cute Guy out +++