Tickle Dracucorp 3rd Quarter Report

Dracucorp (NASDAQ ticker: TKLD) has enjoyed an eventful Q3 in '08. Following a lackluster performance during Q4 '07, Dracucorp had to revise it's projected earnings due to instabilities in the Russian amputee joke market, as well as concerns involving Dracucorp subsidiary Gowanus Springs Sparkling Water and Auto Recycling, Inc. In April, shares of TKLD fell sharply after a Weekly World News expose revealed that Dracucorp's stocks of weapons grade Yo Momma jokes were significantly compromised. Luckily, these were able to be retrofitted as redneck jokes and unloaded to a major supplier to Blue Collar TV. In late May, executives were able to leverage existing leveragability in order to finance hostile takeovers of both Bob Saget and Billy Crystal. This coupled with the aquisition of several thousand below market value used Jay Leno jokes has placed us in a strong position to dominate the retirement home humor market and has ensured that Tickle Dracucorp will remain financially viable well into the future. Although sales remain sluggish, we recently found a quarter backstage at Bowery Poetry Club, thus allowing us to equal our Q1 earnings of $2.73.

Financial details:

Q3 gross revenues: $11 5 drink tickets
Q3 net profit: $2.73
Net assets: $0.13, Subway Club card with 3 stamps, five unpaid parking tickets

Q4 goals include: