The Sonics know it. The sun knows it. Anyone who's ditching their pc for a mac knows it.

Everyone has a dog that they like better than you. There's no racial diversity. The whole gay pride financial fiasco. It drizzles gloomily from October until April without providing anything as satisfying as a lightening storm. Car-jacking is on the rise. The Red Sox fans cheer louder than the Mariners fans at Safeco. Even if the Red Sox aren't playing. Starbucks is trying to get us all to buy its yuppy music. Too many hipsters, poseurs, stupid tattoos, ipods, laptops. Everyone's too busy trying to be passively cool to make an effort to be your friend. Late night dining options are extremely limited. The bagels suck. Google is taking over. Kurt Cobain is gone.

I am bound to stay, so that this poor city has at least one resident keeping it real. But you- you would hate it here. So would your friends and acquaintances. Spread the word. And stop putting condos everywhere!!!