no, i don't feel any different - turning 30 hasn't yet given me any unique insight into life or the universe or new deep philosophical truths. what i know i knew when i was 29 - that my life is probably the best it's ever been, and is getting better every day.

i'm going to be in new york for the summer, putting my "new journalism" skills to work for the human rights watch. objectivity be damned; at least i'll be working for an organization that promotes social and economic justice, all the while helping to solidify the already pervasive (and ostensibly well-founded) sense of liberal-guilt (i'm pretty sure that's today's american dream.) hopefully while i'm working there the rate of middle-aged people committing suicide won't go up any further (it's already at a record-high.)

i'll be living in the bronx, a borough that in some aspects is arguably very similar to my current somewhat-permanent home of oakland: a past of bad publicity, a diverse population, descending crime rates, increasing gentrification. i'm going to visit 1520 sedgwick avenue, although if there's no cast-in-bronze sculpture of grandmaster flash, i'll be sorely disappointed.

it's ironic or coincidental that i'll finally be seeing new york just in the wake of both robert rauschenberg's death and the tearing down of the cgbg. for a long time, both for me represented the fantastic heaving metropolis of always-on lights that i imagined glowing in my head.

i will mourn the loss of both.