I think true love waits.

I'm saving myself for my future husband.

he's out there, somewhere and he's already mine.

Waiting isn't easy, being pure isn't just the fact of not having sex.

it's being pure: by my thoughts, dancing (yeah..that's what I said), and actions.

I just went to my senior dinner on friday, I was disgusted by how so many of my fellow classmates were dancing.they should have gotten a hotel room-we were in a hotel afterall.Several guys asked me to dance, I turned them down. last year, I wouldn't of done this. I have changed.dancing promiscus isn't my thing, I'd rather be by the wall than on the dancefloor. Don't get me wrong, I like to dance-just not with guys. I see all these kids I've known from church " the preacher kind of stereotypes" go and "grind" they seem to act as though it's no big deal. It is, if they're trying to portray the "pure" image, dancing like that surely isn't getting the "pure image" across. and if it is they aare getting a warped view of purity.

So...

I was getting ready to leave for the dinner on friday night..

when the phone rang..

it was my brother..

I told him right away that i really couldn't talk,

you see I had gone on a run and then I walk with a friend..

needless to say, we got back with not much time to spare..

anywho..

ignoring what I told him..

he told me that before he would tell my parents,

HE GOT MARRIED.

this was supposed to be a night I'd remember being great.

IT WASN'T.

I was so mad-i said "forget you" and hung up on him.

This is the brother that lies though.

I should have listened to kyle when he told me that matt would get married even without his family there because that's what "love is"

He said he would include me in his wedding.

HELL, erika even said I would be.

the heck with that, it doesn't matter now.

This isn't just about him getting married.

this is about how foolishly selfish he really is.

My brother was stationed in korea for two years, my dad went there to see him, and on new years eve..he was basically like "Dad, your on your own tonight".He had a girlfriend-whom he thought might have been the one..needless to say that one ended. crashed and burned. Another time, recently, he called me. the reason? because he got a text from my mom saying " call your sister, shes feelin kinda blue"..I took my mom's phone and sent that.We talked for two and a half hours..and about what..guess? matt's on coming future of his marriage.It's always been about him and the how he can get around things without getting hurt or bothered. two years..that's half of my high school time, he only personally called you probably three times. He'd be busy, couldn't talk. bolgna. I don't even know what to expect from him. He says he cares.

But,

he doesn't listen.

listening-not just hearing what  I have to say but really caring.

I love my brother. Though times like these, I don't want anything to do with him. nothing. I graduate in less than a month, I don't need these extra emotions and stress. I don't want him there. there for my graduation. he's lied. so many times. not only to me, but to everyone. As much as I wanted him to come, I rather not see his lieing face.

I thought that maybe family was important to him.

I guess not.