A lot of people have been asking for lyrics to our last album, Women Who Love Men Who Kill... So....here they are.
Enjoy,
Agent Jones
Women Who Love Men Who Kill
Lyrics © 2002 Young Agent Jones
except Temporary Goddess © 1998 Young Agent Jones
EL VENTRILOQUISTADOR
It's hard to start over
You were so sure and your intentions were pure
But it looks like she got away
I'll pull the crank on my motor
Steer my search engine with apprehension
And see what I find on the way
If fantasies were heifers
I'd be a gun-slinging cowboy with purpose
And rustle up a daydream for starters
I'll hire emotional shepherds
Hope that they'll keep watch over us
And not become our personal martyrs
If I were a ventriloquist
I could make it look like you said you missed me
I'd turn your head and move your lips to kiss me
As long as I have knees you'll have a seat
I'll pull you out a million times a week
You make it hard to move on
You've got me up writing songs until dawn
And I can't throw away your toothbrush
I've gotta empty my pockets
And throw the change out on the counter
And separate the silver from copper
I should write my feelings down
If I were a ventriloquist
I could make it look like you said hello
And though you never let your feelings show
You'd tell me secrets only I would know
And your nose wouldn't start to grow
If I were a ventriloquist
I could make it look like you said you loved me
I turn your head and lift your arms to hug me
Fold you in a suitcase and keep you forever
I'd sew your monogram into the leather
It's hard to move on
It's hard to start over
If I could keep my lips still
Then you'd love me forever
It's hard to move on
It's hard to start over
Still as the morning sun
Still as a ventriloquista
..
..
FRANKLIN MINT
Hey, wait, a late, great fake
You draw him on a plate
You move out to L. A.
Franklin Mint buys you steak
..for a plate
And you work in the morning, the evening
Your fingers are twitching
Your phone calls are bitching
Your eyeballs are slipping
And no one can eat off
Mikhail Baryshnikov
And no one could care less
For Andre the Giant in a dress
When you finally pick a winner
They take you out and buy you dinner
..for a plate
Your work and livelihood
An art form covered by food
West Coast, San Andreas fault
Your plates fall off of the wall
You lose five out of six
Due to plate tectonics
You blame God for his tricks
'Til it makes you sick
..real sick
And you freak out all morning and evening
Your fingers are slipping
Your phone calls are bitching
Your eyeballs are twitching
And no one could blame you
The fault line was overdue
So you overhaul and brace the wall
And hide your plates in pillows
You're feverish, you lose it
You dynamite the whole place to hell
..and now you make license plates in jail
..
..
EVERYDAY
And if you're home, then I'll be over
I'm on my way
There's a sofa, there's a throw rug
There's TV tray
Though I'm really not that risqué
I mean it's a..TV tray
But if there's no other way
I'll set up the tray and
Look in your eyes and smile and say
What the hell, we're gonna do it anyway
Why not do it everyday?
Smile if you have to
I'm offering a wonderful experience
We'll put each other up to it
Why control it? Why schedule it?
It's that easy
Just find me today and the next day
And everyday next week
Or I won't be able to sleep
I'll just handle it handily
Even though I'm not that deep
I'll set up the tray and
Sofa..
Throw rug..
TV tray..
..
ALL YOU ARE
I have seen you down
You were down and you were
Trying to be the best way you knew how
So be all you want, be all you can be
You're on your way, you are
Be all you can be, be all you are to me
I find good dreams are renewed
With you, with you
I find good things about me too
With you, with you
You can feed on this
Just love yourself as much as
I love you, a change would do you well
..
I CAN'T FIDGET
I'm in the one place I know things won't change
I've found the one place I know things won't change
The walls never seem to get closer
My instincts have always said stay
I call up some friends to come over
We sit and stare into space
We do this all of the time
The same thing all of the time
We just want to stay alive
So it's easier to survive
We do this all of the time..
The same thing all of the time..
..
JOHNNY UNITAS
Ever since I learned to put myself second
Things have been great between me and the little lady
Her girlfriends are jealous and their boyfriends hate me
And I owe it all to what Johnny Unitas taught me
Happy on the outside
Slipping on the inside
Looking for the bright side
That isn't in the limelight
I've been too bad
I've been too good to me
Johnny Unitas
Just like we used to be
Me and my head
We don't need time to think
You and my heart
No longer disagree..
Time has shown us the truths that will stay truths forever
Laudanum, Mozart and Jesus well ease your mind
I never should have let our tempers collide
Johnny I'm so glad you fixed me on the inside
Holy bologna
Phony matrimony
Missouri girls say show me
Who's the boss? Not Tony
Oh..what have I done?
John, did you set me up?
Oh..what is going on?
Johnny Unitas
Is a play on words
Trust is such a frail thing
Tightrope walking, center ring
Johnny where's the real thing?
I'm walking while I'm sleeping
..
INVINCIBLE
I thought I thought you think
Did you just think what I thought you thought?
If you can think what I think wink
Why bother winking when I'm thinking what you're thinking?
If we could keep this up
24 hours a day
This might be the start
Of a wonderful alliance
Without reliance on our speaking appliance
When I know what goes on
In your head when I am gone
We will know that we are one
And we've become invincible
When we communicate
And love in a telepathic state
We'll know that this is where we stay
Where we are invincible
And we can read between the lines
I'll read yours and you read mine
There will be no room for doubt
And we can live our lives without
Anymore catastrophes
And no more apologies
Arguments won't be too long
When we're humming the same song
We are connected
We are one
And telepathy is fun
We get to talk behind our eyes
Our hats will grow a whole hat size
We will defend each other's lies
And we can cut through all the bull
And be invincible
..
..
GUILTY BALLOON
Even if you feel it hard enough
So that you just might blow
Unless you act on impulse
There are emotions you may never know
Over and over again
It swells so big inside of you
You're full of it..your skin is thin
And soon your skin is see-through
Get it out or get blown apart
No one is elastic enough
You'll stretch until your head's a wreck
The best of you is hidden yet
That feeling in your gut is gold
That feeling will make you explode
There are times when we get down
We sit and stare across the room
We need to scream and break some things
We need to cut our puppet strings
I wish that I could think this way
When I hold back on something I should say
Stick a pin into your soul
And watch the pressure drop
Tell a shrink about it
He'll write it down on paper
And put it in a folder
..
OH, YEAH..
Oh, yeah..
You lose a lot of drive
Thinking everything is fine
But the road will rise up to meet you
And you'll remember you love to drive
Sure there's a lot of love lost between you
And who you used to be
But you can't think long about it
Since you both think differently
If you're living inside a bubble
At least you're squeaky clean
Bubble pop, clock stop, bottom drop
Here's a powerful dose of reality
Oh, yeah..
Welcome back
Oh, yeah..
This is living
Oh, yeah..
It's coming back
Oh, yeah..
I can think I can speak
I can move I can breathe
Can't believe I didn't lose my mind
Finally a mission a chance to make decisions
Cheesy lyrics out of my mouth
I'm worth more to myself than anybody else
Gotta drill this stuff into my head
Bouncing back from being useless
To absolutely ruthless
Coming out as hard as I can
Oh, yeah..
Oh, yeah..
I could go on for days
About this life-changing moment
That woke my head up
So I am driven
I know I'm a normal ordinary guy
But I've gotta do something
I've gotta do something
So watch out you suckers
Watch out, I'm coming
Watch out you suckers
'Cause now I remember
Oh, yeah..
Welcome back
Oh, yeah..
This is living
Oh, yeah..
It's coming back
Oh, yeah..
..
..
A IS FOR ARTHUR
A was the first chord that they found
B came along without a sound
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got!
D and F
D and F
D and F
C C C and a B for my buddies!
That's right!
Let's go!
That's right!
We are all so fucking brilliant
The teenage girls will dance when they hear it
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got
C C C C See what we got!
T and A
T and A
T and A
Thanks for your sacrifices Arthur Ashe
Black guy
You do
That thing
TENNIS!
Arthur Ashe
Arthur Ashe
Arthur Ashe
Wooooo!
Go Ashe Go!
Go Ashe Go!
That's right
Say what?
Let's go!
Still going..
That's right
We're going
To Wimble-
Done
..
..
STAY ON YOUR SIDE
For reasons that are still unknown
It's hard to get along
Did you get a lobotomy?
I find you absolutely
Devoid of the truth
And as fake as a big, blue ox
You rattle your head
I can still hear the rocks
Why, why, why, why, why bother
Stay on your side with your stupid pride
You are annoying
You don't know how society works
And your place in it
Is set by how much you can drink
I'm sure I've pissed off somebody before
But you win the First Place Jerk Award
Why, why, why, why, why bother
Stay on your side with your stupid pride
Loser..
Moron..
Neanderthal..
You are..
..
TEMPORARY GODDESS
You are the energy
The blow behind the breeze
The stopper in my sink
The umbrella in my drink
The mysteries of the sea
Don't mean as much to me
Now what I need to feel
Is the pinch that says you're real
You're all my friends wrapped in a flesh tortilla
You wave the flag of independencia
To hold your hand, to hold you when you're near
To breathe your breath, to take away your fears
Because your heart is good
And you believe in truth
And I'll do anything to make you smile
And to hold your gaze awhile
You're every potent dream
You are my Twinkie cream
The switch that says I'm on
The pink flamingos on the lawn
The sauce, the sass, the spin
Subconscious dividends
Enjoyed by everyone
Who knows what cloud you're on
..
5WAYSTOLEAVEYOURSTALKER
I have given much thought
To ways to get loose
From you and the noose
That you've dropped round my goose
Yeah, you've cooked it with style
I could fake death
With some raw chunks of meat
Pour ketchup on me
I could lie in some pee
Stick my tongue out and glare
I could dress in tight clothes
And hang out with big guys named Barry
With chests that are hairy
You'd start to get wary
Drop me off like a fairy
I could shave my head
And grow a handlebar moustache
Buy guns from trunks with cash
Stow them call it my stash
You'd think I was white trash
I could ignore you,
When we are in public
It might make you frantic
It's not a smart tactic
It could work but I doubt it
IEIEI, IEIEO
La la la la la la
La la la la la la
La la dee da..
I'll probably run
Dye my hair and believe me
You won't ever find me
I'll hide in Milwaukee
Be safe from your stalking
..
..
FEELING IT OUT
Average time of installation
In the scheme of things is pretty small
A to D and B to Z,
I don't know if I'm getting there at all
Your call
Feeling it out
Unreasonable, Infeasible
Believable, I think I'm stuck
Getting stung by bee stingers and
Country pop music singers, I'm scared..
I'm scared
Feeling it out
Your own drums, your own gun
You're only one, but you can drive
Now you're feeling what it's like to be alive
Total time of operation
In the scheme of things is pretty small
Your call
Feeling it out
..
..
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